


Peter Parker and the Misfits

by ringoannie



Series: My Marvel Universe [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awesome Kate Bishop, Awesome Wanda Maximoff, BAMF Kate Bishop, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Clint Barton & Kate Bishop Friendship, Deaf Clint Barton, F/F, F/M, Hurt Peter Parker, Kate Bishop Is a Good Bro, M/M, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Minor Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, and sleep. lots of sleep.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2018-12-25 01:21:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12025119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ringoannie/pseuds/ringoannie
Summary: While patrolling, Spiderman runs into (is kidnapped by) a group of new superheroes and mutants. They call themselves the Misfits and claim to defend the Avengers. While figuring out if he can trust them or not, Peter encounters a looming threat. This is the (unbeta'ed) story of him growing closer to the entire team of misfits and assassins and helping them.





	1. Peter's POV: Meeting Vanessa

. . . Peter’s POV . . .

 

Peter’s year as a junior was going great. He had the Stark internship to look forward to every day, as well as his daily job as the friendly neighborhood Spiderman. Life was good. Or at least, it was, until the day he managed to get himself kidnapped. In hindsight, he figured that was where it all went wrong.

  
  


. . . 3 Months Earlier . . . 

 

Peter slipped into his seat for English, barely making it as the bell rang. Looking around, he realized that his teacher hadn’t arrived yet. Twisting around in his seat, he spotted a girl with long, standing near the door frame, looking like she wanted to melt into the wall.  _ Who’s she? _ he thought, trying to remember if he had ever seen her before.  _ Why does she look familiar?  _ Suddenly, his teacher burst into the classroom, a few folders already in his hand.

“Hi class, sorry I’m late.” the teacher said, “I had to fill out the paperwork for the new student, who should be arriving and minute now-and here she is,” he realized, gesturing at the girl practically cowering in the corner. Her eyes widened, before she straightened her spine and crossed her arms. 

“Does anyone want to help Vanessa around the school for the first few days?” Mr. August rambled, sorting out a stack of papers. No one answered. The girl-Vanessa- met Peter’s eyes in a silent, subtle plea for help. Sighing, Peter raised his hand. 

“Great! Peter, you’ll help Vanessa . . . Collins get to her classes, and help her with her schedule, won’t you. Vanessa, there’s an empty seat near the wall. Now, where did we leave off yesterday?”

 

. . . 

 

Class ended, and both Peter and Vanessa headed down the hallway. Along the long trek there, a tall African-American teen veered into Vanessa, knocking her down. Instead of ducking her head and gathering her books, as Peter predicted she’d do, she raised her eyebrows at the scarily buff kid standing over her, before flipping him off. Then she scrambled to her feet and caught up with Peter.

“Who was that?”

“What?”

“I . . . you gave the impression that you knew him. The kid that knocked you down, I mean.” Peter stammered.

Vanessa laughed. “Oh, yeah, he’s my brother.” Peter blinked in surprise. Aside from the differences in race, Vanessa was tiny for her age, barely reaching his chin, while the other kid loomed over most adults. 

“Is he adopted?”

“No I am. Actually, we both are.”

“Any other siblings?” Peter inquired, trying to ease her out of her shell in hopes of a more two-sided conversation.

“Um, yeah, a few. Lia just transferred here as well. I think she’s also a junior. And Sage, but she’s a senior. You’d like her, though.”

Peter grinned. “What makes you think that?”

“You’re both complete nerds. Jase says I’m one too, but he’s completely wrong.”

“Who’s Jase?” Peter asked, finally reaching the classroom and holding the door open for her. Aunt May’s rules about chivalry had stuck with him. She glanced into the classroom, then gasped and wheeled around. 

“Um, Jase is short for Jason. He’s the asshole who knocked me down.” Vanessa scanned the classroom, before finding whatever had startled her before. “And that’s Lia,” she added, gesturing at a red headed girl who was currently glaring at anyone who made eye contact. Or contact. Peter blinked, then rubbed his eyes. The girl looked exactly like Natasha Romanoff. Or Natasha if she’d been put in a de-aging machine. 

Peter suddenly remembered where he’d thought he’d seen Vanessa before. Something about her walk, or the way she smiled, or avoided eye contact, or tilted her head reminded him exactly of some girl always living in Stark Tower. What was her name? Wandy? Randa?

“Wanda!” he blurted. Vanessa stared at him. “What?”

“Oh, nothing. I just remembered something.” Peter mumbled, suddenly embarrassed. The bell rang, and Lia beckoned for Vanessa to come over, and Peter awkwardly followed, as his usual place was taken. Vanessa beamed as he sat down next to her, leading him to smile as well.

 

. . .  Present Day . . .

 

Peter was getting seriously worried about Vanessa. She would occasionally arrive to class with a few new bruises and scratches and bags under her eyes. Aside from that, she had gone from a shy, timid stranger to a friend with a strong voice and opinions to match. Still, he worried. And so when she was passed a note from Lia reading “ _ Dinner was canceled tonight. Work got in the way _ ” Peter didn’t hesitate to invite her to dinner with him and Aunt May. Also, they had a physics project to work on, so they could work on that. Convincing Vanessa that it wouldn’t be any trouble to have her over was easy. Getting her to not back out was not.

“I don’t know your aunt. Maybe we should just wait to do it another time.” Vanessa mumbled, fidgeting with the purple bracelet Peter had never seen her without.

“Nah, it’ll be fun. My aunt’s super nice, just don’t piss her off and you should be fine.” 

Vanessa didn’t respond, but Peter could almost hear the thoughts running around in her head as they walked the last few blocks to his apartment. Probably something along the lines of  _ what if I mess something up? What if I cross some unspoken line? What if she says we can’t be friends?  _ Vanessa, Peter had quickly discovered, was not exactly the type to sneak out of an open window late at night to go to a party. That summed up her siblings pretty well, but she was the exact opposite. She was more the type to be found secretly reading fanfiction late at night then heading to somewhere with her friends. Or other people.

Before Vanessa could change her mind, Peter stepped into his apartment building and pulled her in. As they headed up the staircase, he suddenly became nervous as well. Shaking it off, he stepped into his apartment. The second Vanessa entered, her phone rang. She started, almost knocking a glass off the nearby table at the sound of the loud buzzing. 

“Hi Jase, it’s Vanessa.” Vanessa scowled, answering her phone.

“ _ Nessie! How’s it going?”  _ Peter, thanks to his enhanced senses, could hear on the other end. 

“Well, I haven’t been captured and held at gunpoint yet, so that’s a start.” Vanessa quipped, visibly relaxing at her brother’s teasing tone. Peter reminded himself to thank Jason later for his incredible ability to tell when Vanessa needed calming down, no matter the distance between the two. He had quickly learned that the teasing between the two was just friendly banter. 

“ _ I’ll say it’s an improvement from the last time you got invited over to someone’s house. Remember Budapest?” _

“Yeah, there’s a reason I’m a vegetarian.” Vanessa quickly ended the call and spun around, just before Aunt May entered. Peter had already told her about Vanessa’s shyness and nervous habits, so now all to do was hope she remembered. 

“Hello, you must be Vanessa. Peter told me that you don’t eat meat, is that right?” Aunt May entered, carrying several different plates. Vanessa quickly ran over and helped. 

“Yes, that’s right. Is that going to be a problem?”

“No, it’s fine. I prepared lasagna.” 

Peter, listening to the conversation, noticed that Vanessa was calming down again. He snuck down the hall, leaving the two to their conversation. Entering his room, he quickly picked some things off of the floor before finding his Spiderman suit and shoving it in his dresser. That was going to be an interesting conversation if Vanessa found it. Heading back into the living room, he found Aunt May already eating and serving Vanessa.

“Wow, I’m so happy both of you waited for me to eat. I’m touched, really.”

“Shut up, Peter.”

  
  


 . . . 

  
  


Later, after they finished the meal and their project, Vanessa headed home insisting that she didn’t need an escort. Peter was curled up on his bed, about to fall asleep when he remembered he was supposed to patrol that night.

“Goddammit.”

He shoved his suit on, and after checking that his aunt was asleep, slipped out the window and shot out into the night. After stopping a hold up in a grocery store (stereotypical much?) he spotted a dark figure flipping over the rooftops. Getting closer, he recognised the red suit and mask of Daredevil.

“Hey!” Peter tried to get him to slow down, before realizing that Daredevil would have probably already heard his breathing. Or heartbeat. Or something. Daredevil stopped and turned around.

“What?”

“What are you doing here? I thought you mostly stayed in Hell’s Kitchen.” Peter walked across the rooftops until he was only a short jump away.

“Yeah, I know. I ran into a teleporter. Literally. I’m just glad I’m still in New York.” Daredevil then cleared the gap between his building and Peter’s, landing with catlike grace. “Actually, I’m glad I’m still in America. Hold up a second.” He straightened and tilted his head to one side.

“ _ What are you doing? _ ” Peter whispered. No response. “ _ Are you doing your superhero hearing thingy? _ ” No response. “ _ I’m going to shut up now. _ ” Daredevil smiled slightly, then stiffened. The next thing he knew, Peter was being tackled onto the rooftop as a hail of bullets flew over both of them. 

_ “What the hell was that!”  _ Peter yelled, rolling over as he tried to figure out where the bullets came from. A few rooftops over, he could see two silhouettes arguing.

Daredevil turned to Peter “We need to get over to that rooftop.  _ Now. _ We can’t fight them from over here, but they can certainly shoot us from over there.”

Peter webbed Daredevil to him, then took off, swinging towards the building. Landing, he checked to make sure that the masked vigilante (actually, the  _ other _ masked vigilante) was uninjured before scanning the two people that stood in front of him. Both wore cloaks with hoods that completely covered their faces, and black skintight clothing underneath. The shorter figure on the right’s cloak was embroidered with red stitches, while the taller figure on the left’s cloak was streaked with dirt and a lot of blood. Peter christened the shorter one Scary #1, and the taller Scary #2. 

Daredevil sprang at Scary #1, for which Peter was glad. #2 was taller and probably stronger, but #1 gave off an aura like they could crush the world beneath their foot and laugh. While he was distracted, #2 jumped at him and swiped at his chest, tearing open the Spider  suit. Peter snapped to attention, shooting a web at #2’s face, which they dodged. They then charged Peter, knocking him to the ground with an inhumanly fast speed. #2 landed on top of Peter, stabbing him repeatedly in the chest with two knives. Peter gasped and threw him off struggling to his feet. And then, of course, he got knocked down again. #2 then sliced just below both of Peter’s elbows, before stepping back and walking calmly toward where #1 and Daredevil were fighting. 

Confused, Peter managed to get to his feet, and tried to web #2. Nothing happened. He tried again. Nothing. Peter swore and charged #2, who twisted and shot him with something. Peter looked down and saw a tranquilizer dart embedded in his arm. Something was wrong. Peter should have been able to dodge the dart, he should have been able to web #2, he should have been able to keep himself from getting knocked down where his opponent had the advantage, he should have been able to beat a guy armed with nothing but two knives.  _Something’s wrong_ was his last thought before his legs buckled and everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

. . .  _ Vanessa’s POV . . .  _

 

Vanessa was  _ not  _ happy. Jase had texted her when she was at Peter’s house eating some of the best lasagna that she’d ever had and talking to his aunt. Very lovely lady, by the way. Pleasant and intelligent. It was awfully hard to believe that she was related to Peter. Sprinting down the gravelly sidewalk of Hell’s Kitchen, she answered her ringing phone. It was Jase (of course). 

“What’s going on?”

“ _ Nakia’s throwing a tantrum.” _

“Dang it.” She quickened her pace, rounded the edge of the street, and dashed into the house. As she entered, she passed Lia and Lorcan, both back from patrolling. Lia turned to her.

“What the hell happened?”

“Nakia’s throwing a tantrum.”

“Oh, that’s fantastic. The absolute goddamn  _ best _ ending to my day. By the way, can you clean this?” Lia passed Vanessa a long black cloak with red stitchery and smeared blood. “We ran into some trouble.”

“Right, because all I need is more work.” She noticed the small bruise on Lia’s cheek. “Who’s you run into?”

“Some guy with horns and some weird mutant.”

“Got it.” Vanessa heard screaming coming from the training room, and took off. Nakia was their sweet little sister, with the ability to smash through titanium like it was putty. Needless to say, tantrums were bad news. 

Throwing aside the cloak and entering the training room, Vanessa spotted Jase trying to calm Nakia down. The four-year old was crying and wailing, lying on the ground. She quietly walked over and sat down next to her. 

_ <What started it?> _

_ <I don’t know. She was playing by herself, and then started crying. I tried to calm her down, but it just escalated from there.> _

_ <Right, okay.> _ Vanessa took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.  _ <You can leave. I’ve got this.> _

_ <Good luck.> _ Jase slipped out of the training room, closing and locking the door behind him.

Vanessa was careful to not touch Nakia: Jase had once made that mistake with her, and Nakia had accidentally broken his arm in three places. And Vanessa didn't heal anywhere as fast as Jase. She lay down next to the sobbing child, and waited. After a few minutes, Nakia calmed down and rolled over. 

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Vanessa adopted the soft tone everyone used for Nakia.

“My foot hurts a lot. And the wall is mean and it hurted my foot.” Nakia grumbled, sitting up. Vanessa looked at the wall, which had several imprints of the child’s foot. 

“It’s a bad wall, sweetie. I’m going to put the wall in a time-out.” Vanessa ambled over to the steel wall and pressed a large button in the corner. Immediately, music started playing, and the door unlocked. Vanessa waited until Nakia was completely ready, then picked her up and carried her outside. She was greeted with the beautiful sight of Lia swearing while picking up washcloths sopping with blood from the floor.

“Need some help?”

“Shut the fu-” Lia turned and noticed Nakia. “Um, shut up.”

“Nice catch. You mentioned a mutant that you fought earlier. I didn’t know there was a new addition in town.”

“Oh, yeah.” Lia mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “There is.” Vanessa narrowed her eyes and thought < _ You’re lying.> _ Lia glared at her, the reluctantly responded with  _ < Yeah. Actually, we ran into Spiderman.> _ Vanessa almost dropped Nakia in shock. “Pardon?  _ Spiderman _ ?”

“Yeah, and get this: Lorcan took him down in about a minute and a half. Oh, and tranqed and captured him.” Lia gloated. “And I beat the weirdo with horns, but the bast-um, idiot managed to land a blow.” Lorcan walked into the room, shaking his sandy hair out of his eyes and rapidly signing at Lia.

“And Lorcan says that he used to techniques you taught us to beat him. He did the whole ‘knock him down and cut his glands and destroy the webshooters’ thingy and it worked.”

Vanessa set Nakia down in her play area and started pacing, her brain whirling. “It was too easy to beat him. Even with all the training I gave you two, he should have been able to land a blow. That means he hasn’t had any training.”

“Well, no shit.  _ We  _ haven’t been trained.”

“No, Lia. You’re thinking official training. I’m talking about  _ any  _ training.” Vanessa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. The plan had suddenly become much more complicated. “We’re going to need a group meeting. Someone get Maggie to brief Spiderman.”

“Why Maggie?” Lia whined as Lorcan left.

“Because Jase and I are both busy, Lorcan was the one to knock him out, Nakia and Sage aren’t the best around strangers, and you’d rip him apart the second he’d start asking stupid questions.”

Lia sighed in defeat and left to clean up the living room.

 

. . . Peter’s POV . . .

 

Peter woke up with a throbbing headache. He sat up, groaning and scanned himself. His mask was still in place and the cuts on his arms had clotted, but the gashes on his chest were still oozing and warm. He didn’t think that was a good thing. Looking around, Peter noticed his surroundings for the first time. He was in a large, well-lit room with walls painted light blue, that smelled faintly of cinnamon. The room was completely empty except for a small cot, which he now lay on. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

A girl with auburn curls just brushing her shoulders and a big smile knocked twice, then wandered in. 

“Hi, I’m Lo. I’m the doctor around here.”

“Where am I?” Peter ventured to ask. His throat was sore and croaky. “How long was I out?” 

“Like, half an hour. Can I remove your mask?”

“Um, no, I kind of want to keep it on.” Pete backed a little from the smiling girl. She laughed softly.

“Right, right, secret identities and all that. Lia’s really serious about that.”

“Who’s Lia?” Peter asked, shifting over on his cot to let her her sit down. She started stitching up his arms.

“Actually, I’m supposed to tell you about everyone in the family.” She traced a finger lightly over the stitches, leaving behind a trail of midnight blue dust. The tiny cuts disappeared, and the pain eased. Lo jumped up. “Come on.” Peter tried to follow, then fell over, sprawling into a mess on the tiled floor.

“What’s th- oh, your chest. Hold up.” Lo knelt beside him, releasing threads of dust from her fingertips. Peter immediately felt better. He stood and Lo helped him out of the room and down the hall, all while chattering eagerly.

“So let’s see. There’s Jase, Nakia, Lorcan, Lia, Sage, Vanessa, and me. We all have different abilities. Jase heals really fast and is really strong and fast, Lorcan does his Wolverine thing, Nakia is practically indestructible, Lia has super secret spy and poison stuff, Vanessa’s like a combination of Doctor Strange and Scarlet Witch, and I heal people and destroy objects. Who am I forgetting? Oh, Sage. She controls metal and is super smart at making machines. She’s like a miniature, female Tony Stark.”

Peter looked up at the mention of a girl named Vanessa, then figured it was a coincidence. He cracked a smile at the idea of Vanessa fighting bad guys. She would probably freak out and throw a book at them. Jase and Lia he could imagine fighting bad guys, though. Especially Lia. She was downright terrifying when mad.

Lo guided him into a large room with a group of people gathered. A few wore the weird cloaks he had seen earlier, but most didn’t. He counted six in total, not including Lo. He scanned the room and sat down as a girl entered. Peter turned and locked eyes with the girl who entered. She had waist length brown hair and big blue eyes.  _ Oh my god. Oh my freaking god. That’s Vanessa. _

 

. . .  _ Vanessa’s POV _ . . . 

 

Vanessa locked eyes with Spiderman, and a thought jumped out at her.  _ <Oh my god. Oh my freaking god. That’s Vanessa.> _ She cleared her voice.

“Alright people, let’s get together. Everyone introduce yourself and your abilities.” She turned to Spiderman. “Did Lo brief you on everyone’s abilities?” 

“No. Well, sort of, but there wasn’t much detail involved,” he answered her.

“Okay. Well, I’m Vanessa, and I can do weird stuff with magic and teleportation. And mind reading.”

“Sorry, but I  _ know some of you. _ How is that possible? And you’re a  _ mind reader _ ?” Spiderman asked, shifting in his seat.

“You can take off the mask. Um, we figured out that you went to that high school, and  so some of us volunteered to spread out among the school and look for a kid with your abilities. We didn’t manage to find you, though, so good job on that. Then, earlier, you were on the roof and Lia and Lorcan mistook you for a bad guy and fired at you. By the way, who were you with?” Vanessa stared at him.  _ Have I seen him before? _

“Uh, Daredevil.”

Vanessa shot a scathing look at Lia and Lorcan. “You were with Daredevil?” Spiderman nodded. “The next person we were going to try to make an alliance with?” Lorcan cringed away, but Lia unfalteringly met her gaze.“The  _ one _ person in Hell’s Kitchen who I gave  _ specific  _ instructions  _ not to attack _ ?” 

“Sorry. Anyway, he’s not dead or anything.” Lia mumbled. Lorcan began signing furiously while glaring at her. “No, he’s not!”

“Please tell me you didn’t throw him off a building.” Vanessa sighed, and pinched her nose, a gesture she guessed she’d be making a lot more of. She looked at Lia who was hesitating. “Oh my god. You did, didn’t you. That’s it. I’m going to go make tea. Someone  _ correctly  _ brief Webs here.” She wandered into the kitchen, from where she could hear Sage introducing everyone. 

 

 

 

_________________

Author's Note:

thank you all so much for the kudos and reading. Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an incident. Peter meets the Misfits. He freaks out.

. . . Sage’s POV . . . 

Sage stared at the boy in front of her before running an analysis. 5’10, 147 lbs., natural abilities: none. Unnatural abilities: can cling to surfaces, lift 10 tons (proven. What’s his maximum?), 15 times more agile than natural, 6th sense (nicknamed “Spidey sense.”). Stats: durability level 3, energy level 4, melee fighting level 5, distance fighting level 4, intelligence level 4 (natural? Holy shit.), speed level 5, strength level 5. Her head started spinning from the onslaught of new information. Mimicking Nessie, she cleared her throat.  
“So, who here do you know?”  
“No one, really. I know the basics of what you can do.”  
“Got it. Well, we’ve all got much different skill sets, but we were all created for the same purpose: to kill the Avengers.” She laughed, seeing his expression. “Don’t worry, none of us plan on doing anything of the sort. Not if we have any say in it, at least. So, powers. Lia was created to kill Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye. She went through rigorous training and earned her codename: Scorpion. She can shoot from far distances, fight hand to hand, use almost any weapon and withstand strong poisons. As a result of the poisoning, most of her bodily fluids are venomous.” Peter turned and stared at the glowering redhead, her green eyes meeting his.  
“Sorry, how old is she?”  
“I’ll get to that, Jesus Christ. Anyway, the girl you met earlier is Ivalo, or Lo. She is supposed to take down Thor, and she can heal people and destroy objects.” She paused. “It’s . . . actually quite a basic power.   
“Lorcan is like a younger Wolverine, what with his claws and healing and berserker rage and stuff. And he doesn’t talk, though Lo talks enough for three people which kind of makes up for it. He’s supposed to kill Captain America.” Pete glanced at the tall teen with sandy blonde hair and crisscrossing scars.  
“Nakia - she’s super sweet - is supposed to kill the Hulk. Or Bruce Banner. Or whatever.” Peter stared in shock at the young little girl wolfing down biscuits. “Yeah, she’s also four. It surprised me the first time, too. But her skin is super tough and she’s stronger than all of us put together. And that’s not exactly easy.   
“I have a search engine in my head, am 60% steel and wires, and control metal. I kill Iron Man.   
“Vanessa,” she hesitated, glancing into the kitchen, “Vanessa has incredible power. She can teleport - but that’s spotty at best - use mind control, read people’s minds, and when she’s seriously angry, or scared, or her emotions are running wild, she can radiate energy waves. Oh, and she’s an empath. I think that’s what it’s called. Her powers sort of mimic Wanda Maximoff.” He stared blankly at her.   
“That’s . . . a lot of power in one building.”  
Sage smirked. “Yeah, it is. We’re like more powerful, less trained Avengers in a much smaller apartment buildings.”  
Words scrolled across her vision. South-West Perimeter Intrusion. Intruder Detected. She winced, holding her head. “Nessie! We’ve got a problem!”  
Vanessa ran into the room. “Level 4?”  
“Yup. South-West Perimeter Intrusion.”  
Vanessa whirled around. “Lia! Roof. Lorcan! Base. Cut off retreat. Sage, run comm. Don’t directly interfere unless necessary. Lo, get Kia to the panic room. Webs and I’ll investigate.” She turned back to Sage. “How fast can Webs get us there?”  
“I’ve got a migraine right now so I can’t figure out the exact speed, but he’s a speed level 5.”   
“That’ll do. Webs, get both of us there as fast as you can. Everyone else, comms in. And stick to the plan. This is not a drill.”

. . . Peter’s POV . . .

Peter was feeling confused, overwhelmed, and completely unprepared. Everyone obviously had a specific place that they needed to be and a specific task they needed to do. He knew he was supposed to be doing something, somewhere and that was about it. Vanessa grabbed his arm, her eyes wide with panic.  
“Let’s go.”  
Peter carefully picked her up and swung up the elevator shaft of the apartment building, while she gave him directions on where to go. Once they landed, she jumped up and snatched off the purple bracelets. The second they slipped off, the palms of her hands started bubbling with suppressed power. Vanessa vaulted over a chair and sprinted down the hallway. After some quick consideration, Peter followed her. Entering a room, she paused.   
“This is where Sage is telling me to go, but there’s no one here . . .” she worried. Peter’s Spidey sense tingled and he tackled Vanessa as something hurtled toward her. Miffed, she shoved Peter off of her.   
“Wade! You scared me! And you could've killed someone!” She yelled at the figure hidden by shadows. Peter sat up in shock as Deadpool stepped out of the shadows.   
“Deadpool?”  
“Spidey!”  
“Wade! You’re not ducking out of this conversation. Why didn’t you use the front door, like a normal person?” Vanessa rolled over, brushing glass off her palms and marching toward Deadpool. She grabbed his hand and led him toward the door, nodding at Peter to come with her. She spoke into her comm. “Nevermind, it’s just Wade.”   
Peter stared after her, confused. He’d only known Deadpool as a deadly, insane mercenary. Yet here was a girl who needed help reaching cabinets, complained about her short legs when Peter walked too fast, and baked muffins for you if you felt down, leading a trained killer down the hallway like he was a lost puppy. Actually, now that he thought about it, there were several trained killers in the building. Okay, I need to stop thinking. Trying to get his mind off that fact, he hurried after Vanessa.

. . . Vanessa’s POV . . .

Vanessa dragged Wade down the hallway, fuming and ranting. “I’m serious, Wade. If you need help, you could just call. You had no reason to just drop in. You know how twitchy that makes Lia.”  
“Aw, is Li Li okay?”  
“Wade, this is not funny!” she hissed. Spider Man smirked.   
“Yeah, come on Wade. Get it together.” Both of them rounded on him.   
“Shut up, Webs.”  
“Yeah, come on, Peter.” Wade jibed. Spiderman started, then rounded on Wade.  
“The secret identity is secret. As in, you don’t say my name in front of people that don’t know it.” Spiderman could be very scary when he wanted to be, Vanessa mused.  
“Peter, she’s a fucking mind reader.”  
“Number one, ‘she’ is in the room, Number two, Wade, watch your language, and Number three, we both know that I don’t read people’s minds unless they specifically let me. So saying his name was totally uncalled for. Apologize.”  
“I’m sorry, Petey Pie.” Wade mocked.  
“Don’t call me Petey Pie.”  
“Then don’t call me Wade.”  
Vanessa rolled her eyes. Do I seriously need to separate the two? “Calm down, you two. Wade, you’re helping me with baking. Peter, I need you to get Jase to buy three bottles of pain medication, a bunch of bandages, and a box of Hello-Kitty Bandaids. I’ve got to go apologize to Matt.”  
“Who’s Matt?” Peter asked. Whoops.   
“Um, he’s an old friend that got beat up recently.”  
“Nessie, you’re a terrible liar.” Wade smiled, patting her head affectionately. She sighed and started towards the kitchen. Peter turned to her.  
“Wait, why does Deadpool get to bake? And what am I supposed to do after I talk to Jason?”  
“Wade get’s to bake because I trust him not to burn the house down, and you need to talk to Lia about your training.” Hearing this, Wade audibly winced.   
“Who’d you piss off enough to have to train with Li Li?”   
“Language, Wade.”  
“Sorry.”

. . . Lia’s POV . . . 

Lia was going to kill Wade. And then kill him again. And again. As many times as it might take to teach him about this newfangled invention called doors. She and Lorcan started signing and swearing back and forth as they met up and headed to the training room.   
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him come in through the front door. She signed. He always finds some dramatic, stupid-ass way to enter the building.   
Lorcan looked up, and Lia followed his gaze to see Peter enter the training room. Not Peter. Spiderman. You’re not supposed to know his name yet.   
“You’ve been asked to train with me? What’d you do to piss off Nessie?” She asked, tilting her head to look innocent. If he attacks, palm to the chin, fist to the groin, swipe him off his feet-   
Lorcan put his arm around her, breaking off her destructive train of thought. She shot a look of gratitude at him, then got to her feet and stretched.   
“Deadpool said the same thing. But I’ve trained with Natasha, so I’m used to people kicking my ass in the most embarrassing ways possible.” Spidey admitted.  
Lia and Lorcan both doubled over with laughter. Spidey stared at both at them, feeling a bit self-conscious, a bit confused, and very scared. Lia wiped tears away from her eyes and sauntered over to her equipment and earbuds.

-3 Minutes Later-

Lia strolled out of the changing room, wearing a (silver) sports bra, (silver) leggings, and (silver) earbuds. She pulled on sparring gloves and faced Spidey.  
“Here, wear these,” she said, tossing him an extra pair of sparring gloves and his webshooters. “Can I just call you Peter? It’ll make things so much less complicated.”  
Peter froze. “Who told you? Who else knows?”  
“Um, ‘Pool, Lorcan, and me.” She said. “And based on your expression when you entered, Nessie. And maybe Jase.” Lorcan shook his head.   
No way. Nessie wouldn’t.   
“Oh, yeah? Want to bet?” She raised an eyebrow.  
Five bucks and you’re on.  
“Deal.” She turned back to Peter. “Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” They both stepped onto a padded circular mat in the center of the cement room and sized each other up. Lia shifted her weight and waited. Peter pulled his sparring gloves on on top of his suit and jumped at her. She let him come at her, slipping away at the last second and tripping him. One of her favorite songs came onto the playlist and started playing. She smirked in anticipation. Webs didn’t stand a chance.   
He rolled to his feet and tried to hook her feet out from under her. She jumped over him. He threw a few quick punches at her. Lia tried to block them, then gave up and dodged the rest. He jumped up into the nearest rafter and swung around to face her. There was a brief flash of white, and she rolled away just in time to keep her arm from getting stuck to the floor. When he’s up high, she thought, he has the advantage. That’s why Nessie wanted us to tackle him and hold him down. Oh well, too late.  
“Come on, you’re not even trying.” Peter called down at her. She cocked her head and waited. He’s gotten cocky. Time to go on the offence. She calmly watched him swing down, then leapt at him, gripping his shoulders and kneeing him in the solar plexus. That accomplished, she flipped onto his back and pushed off. The rafter hit her harder than expected, and Lia wasted a few seconds securing her grip. I’m getting sloppy. She twisted around to see a jet of webs shooting toward her face. Taken aback, Lia let go off the narrow beam. Peter blinked in surprise as her legs crumpled from the landing impact. He hesitated, then ran towards her.  
“Oh my god. Are you okay?” Peter worried, crouching over her body. Lia kicked his legs out from under him, flipped him onto his back, and elbowed him a few times in the throat, then punched him on the nose and tore his webshooters off.   
“Alright, stop, I give up!” Peter yelled, pushing her away. He scrambled to his feet and stumbled away, muttering under his breath. Lia tested her feet. Yup. Twisted. That little shit. Looking up, she saw Lorcan leaning over her, stretching a hand toward her. She accepted it, and rolled to her feet. A second later, she heard her foot crack and a wave of pain rolled over her. Lorcan scooped her up, ignoring her protests, and carried her over to the bench near the wall.   
“Is she alright?” Peter ran over, worry written across his face. Lia glared at him.   
“I’m fine. We need to start working on your hand-to-hand combat skills, though. Lorcan, grab the computer from the other room. We’re going to edit the fuck out of Web’s fighting.” She smirked. “By the time I’m done, you’ll be able to kick people in the face in a mid-air split, paralyze someone with your left pinky toe, and choke a man with your thighs.”


	4. Chapter 4

. . . Matt’s POV . . .

Matt was seriously worried about Spiderman. He’d woken up in a dumpster with a lingering smell of cinnamon and blood, a pounding headache, and Spiderman nowhere to be found. After searching for about three hours, he admitted defeat and headed home to lick his wounds. Namely, a cracked rib, bloodied nose, twisted ankle, and several bruises on his face.  
Arriving in his apartment, he stopped. There was a strong smell of vanilla and lavender, and a window was open. No heartbeats, so the . . . girl? girl left. There was an unfamiliar smell and shape at his kitchen counter. Bread. Fresh and homemade, with natural ingredients. And a bunch of other baked goods. Also soup. Um, medicine, painkillers, bandages, and a box of . . . Bandaids? He rummaged through the bag for a bit before shrugging and patching himself up. Walking over to his bed, he found a note. Well, at least the mystery girl hasn’t figured out I’m blind. Running his hands over the note, he was surprised to feel a bunch of dots. Braille. Damn it.   
The note read:   
Dear Matt,   
Lia says sorry for attacking you. She thought you were someone else. Spiderman is fine.   
-Vanessa.   
The next morning, Matt was awakened by Foggy cracking up at the sight of the masked vigilante covered in Hello-Kitty Bandaids and food crumbs. 

. . . Peter’s POV . . . 

Peter quickly learned that the bags under Vanessa’s eyes weren’t from fighting crime every night. (Though that certainly didn’t help.) He suspected it had more to do with the screaming coming from different ends of the apartment building every night, and how it stopped a few minutes after Vanessa would take off after it.   
He also quickly learned that each one of the Misfits, as they called themselves, had some serious drawbacks that came with their powers or abilities. Lia wouldn’t admit to feeling pain. Peter had seen her bone pierce her flesh, and she waved it off. Until she collapsed.  
The cute little girl with bronzed skin and chocolate hair (Kiki? No, Naka. Or something.) was terrified of Peter the first few times she’d seen him. The rest wouldn’t let her be left in the room alone with him, and he didn’t think it was a problem of trust.  
Sage, the girl with jagged shoulder-length hair and constant bags under her eyes wouldn’t stay in a room with him for more than about 15 minutes before making up some excuse and leaving. Peter decided to pay closer attention to the rest.   
Vanessa and Jase walked into the kitchen. Vanessa turned to Peter. “I need to cast a spell. You need to inform everyone, and clear the training room of any extra stuff.” She turned to Jase. “You have a fake ID. I need you to get chicken blood, one of those six packs of candles, human blood - try not to kill anyone this time - salt, chalk, and a box of Thin Mints.”  
“You need Thin Mints for a spell?”  
“No, but it’ll make me feel better about ripping a hole in the universe.” Vanessa faced Peter again. “You’re going to want an explanation on what I’m about to do and how it works?” She guessed. Peter nodded.  
“Okay.” She grabbed a glass cube filled with swirling violet mist. “This is the universe.” Vanessa swirled all of the mist into a tiny circular orb. “This is us. Now, I’m going to tear a giant hole in the cube, and teleport all of that somewhere outside of the universe.”  
“There is no place outside of this universe.”  
“Sure, sure. Now I’m going to squish a bunch of universe together and use that to fill the hole. And that lets me spy on all of the Avengers. And that’s sort of how teleportation works.”  
“But if you teleport all of the empty matter to another place, then what happens?” Peter asked, confused. Vanessa paused.   
“Never mind. Forget everything I just told you. Instead, I’m going to do a bunch of magicky stuff, and stuff is going to be royally messed up.” She skipped out of the room.

. . .   
“Alright people, gather round, Nessie is about to blast a hole in the fabric of the universe. Let’s hope it goes a lot better than last time.” Jase announced.  
Vanessa closed her eyes and concentrated. The rest of the Misfits settled around her in a circle. Peter hesitated. Do I stand here? Do I leave? So I join them? Lia sighed, stood up, and yanked him into the circle. Well, that answers my question. Vanessa smiled slightly, then her hands started moving in a calm, pulsating pattern. A bubble formed in the space made between her hands, and it expanded until it completely enveloped her. Jase stood up.  
“Nice job, guys. Nothing went wrong. Who wants to cover for her first?”  
Sage clambered to her feet. “I’ve got it. The rest of you get some sleep.” Peter stood up, surprised to find himself completely drained. He headed to the 5th floor and promptly passed out.

. . . 

Peter woke up to Jase and Ivalo arguing.  
“Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda, Jase!”  
“Shut up, Lo. Murder’s never on anyone’s agenda.”  
“No, it’s on mine, just not until next Thursday.”  
“ . . . I get the feeling that I really don’t want to know. Peter, get up. Lo’s driving me crazy.” Jase whined. Peter slowly sat up. His head throbbed, and he was getting really tired of waking up with a headache. “Nessie’s done, so let’s see if we can make a smooth transition.”  
Peter dragged himself to the training room to see Vanessa floating in the bubble, her eyes still closed, her long hair floating around her, and images shimmering like reflections. He caught a glimpse of a small white room, a bloody knife, and a bunch of dark hair in a clump. He looked away. Somehow, looking at those images felt a little too much like spying.  
He turned to Jase. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? Pulling Vanessa out of the visions, I mean.”  
“Well, one time she split the world in half, but I’m like 40% sure that won’t happen again.” Jase answered. Peter stared at him.  
“Please tell me you’re joking. Please, please, please.” Jase didn’t respond for a second.   
“ . . . Okay, I think it’s time to get Nessie back. Pete, get in the circle.” Jase stepped into the circle as Deadpool arrived. “Last person’s here. Let’s go.”  
Vanessa was muttering, barely audible from inside her bubble. “Steve . . . you idiot . . . no, stop . . . he doesn’t mean that . . . oh, snap . . . Tashi, no. Don’t kill him . . . Maggie. Maggie, I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish . . . shut up, both of you . . . ” Peter sat down and stared at the tiled floor. He was pretty sure that only his enhanced senses were letting him hear the muttering, and he was pretty sure that it wasn’t something he was supposed to listen to.   
“Alright, guys, focus. Nessie, you’ve got the all clear.” Vanessa relaxed and her bubble started shrinking. It slipped around her to gather in between her moving hands. Peter watched, fascinated, as the bubble popped and violet liquid melted into her hands. She opened her eyes.   
“I figured out what’s going wrong,” she mumbled, seeming exhausted. Vanessa made eye contact with Jase. He frowned, then sighed.   
“Steve, you dumb fuck.”  
. . . 

The Misfits had a group meeting later that evening with everyone there. ‘Everyone’ being Vanessa, Jase, Sage, Nakia, Ivalo, Lia, Lorcan, Peter, and Wade. Vanessa sat up, sipping tea and wearing a giant sweater that she seemed to disappear in.  
“So, there’s a few problems. The main problem is that Hydra is about to pop up again with our favorite scary dumpster assassin, and they’ve got a few new people recruited. Namely, the weird fast guy, and the girl with wings. And I think a few others. It was a little hazy. Maggie’s going to make a return to Midgard in a few days, so we’ve got to prepare for that. Beside that, Steve and Tashi had an argument with the rest of the Avengers about what to do when faced with our favorite scary dumpster assassin, so that’s great.”  
Lia groaned and covered her face. “So basically, we’ve got a group of awful people about to take over again just when the good guys are divided, and a girl who hasn’t chosen a side yet about to return.”  
Lorcan signed something at her, and she twisted over and fell off the couch. “Ow! Also, bad. Bad, bad, bad.”  
Peter looked around. “I’m sorry, can someone who speaks normal explain what’s going on?” Sage met his eyes.  
“Yeah, sorry. Hydra is this evil organization, they’re . . .” she hesitated “ . . . actually the people who created half of us. Anyway, they are very bad news. They’ve recruited, slash captured and brainwashed, the Winter Soldier, Liam, and Angel. All very powerful people. The Avengers are have chosen the worst possible time to have another little dispute among themselves, and Maggie is about to arrive. Maggie is a little shit because she hasn’t decided if she is on our side or Hydra’s. Hydra doesn’t realize that they’re evil, which complicated things, since we could be evil and they could be good, but we don’t like to think about that because it really messes with your brain,” she paused and took a deep breath, before plowing on, “And so the Avengers are going to mess something up, and we’re going to have to cover for them, as usual.”  
“You guy’s have never covered for them before. Like, in all my year of working for Tony Stark, I have never sensed any fighting that you guys were doing.” Peter protested.  
Vanessa focused on him. “The world’s never been in danger of anyone other than something the Avengers have taken care of, to your knowledge.”  
“Yeah, to my knowledge.”  
“You’ve never heard of Angel and the Executioners.”  
“No. But that would be a great band name.”  
“Yeah, it would. You’ve never heard of the Battle of Berlin?”  
“No.” Peter could see where this was going.  
“Or the Guardians of the Galaxy?”  
“No.”  
“Yeah, and there’s a reason for that. Namely, we do our goddamned job.” Jase interrupted.   
“Why? I mean, it’s their job to protect us.” Peter looked around the group. Most averted his gaze.   
“It’s a long story.” Vanessa started. She glanced around the room, and flicked her hand. Some unspoken signal passed between her and the group, and the room cleared out. She bit her lip and met Peter’s eyes.  
“Hydra trained us. Well, most of us. Lia was kidnapped and trained in the Red Room where they decided that she would be used to kill Natasha. Sage had a normal life, until there was a fire about three years ago. Hydra told her they could help her, and replaced both her arms, her left leg, her right foot, her spinal cord, the right half of her face, and parts of her brain with bionic stuff.” Peter stared at her. He could tell this was secret information. She continued.  
“They created me. Like, they got a fertile egg, kept it in an environment that simulated a womb, and started experimenting. There was five out of of over three hundred projects that made it past the age of ten.  
“Nakia is the last one they trained. There was an incident with the first person they trained to kill Bruce, that’s why she’s so young. The rest of the group was trained and created in different ways. I don’t know all of their stories as well. Except for Jase, of course.”  
“That has to be the most tragic and elaborate way around a question that I’ve ever heard.” Peter joked, trying to lighten the mood. Vanessa laughed softly.  
“Yeah. Basically, our motive to help others is a mix of ‘in your face’ to Hydra, and the genuine desire to use our abilities to help others. But for Lo, it’s just a way of channeling stress without costing us too much money.”  
“Lo’s weird. You meet her at first, and it’s all ‘Oh, she’s a sweetheart.’ But now I think she scares me more than Natasha.” Peter admitted.  
“She’s like the opposite of Lia. Lia, you meet her and think she’s scary, but it turns out that she’s just a big ball of fluff. And self hate. There’s a lot of self hate. Whereas Lo appears as super sweet and flirty and giggling, but then it turns out she knows fifteen ways to kill a person with a piece of shrapnel. It’s not their fault, though. That’s what they’re conditioned to act like and know.”  
Peter exhaled softly. “So, none of you are actually related?”  
“Jase legally adopted me as his sister for my last birthday. I wasn’t lying about that. Sorry, you know. For lying and all. I really didn’t want to.” Vanessa looked down, staring into her tea.  
“Thanks.” A sudden thought struck Peter. “What did you tell the school? And Aunt May?” Oh, god. How long have I been here? Like two days, but still. She must be freaking out. Vanessa swallowed nervously.   
“Actually, I noticed something in the warp. The bubble thing. Earlier.” Oh, no. Not good. Definitely not good. Vanessa frowned at him. “I didn’t say anything! Why did you assume it’s automatically bad?” What? Oh, mind reader. Yeah.   
“Um, you’re doing that thing where you try to soften the news before delivering really bad news.” Peter said aloud. Vanessa looked at him quizzically.  
“I don’t do that.”  
“Yeah, you totally do. I was your second best friend for eight months, I’ve learned some of your mannerisms. Anyway, what happened to May?”  
“Um, I don’t think she’s at your house.”  
“ . . . Okay. Can you try to elaborate on that?”  
“Like, she hasn’t been at your house since the night you left on patrol and Lorcan darted you.” Vanessa finally met his eyes, worry reflected in the depths. “I can’t tell where she is, but I can try to look. Also, I’ll get Lia to track your aunt, but other than that there’s not much I can do.”  
“What the hell?! I should have been there! If I hadn’t left, then she wouldn’t have disappeared! She would be safe, at home.” Peter exploded. Vanessa cringed.  
“I know. I know. I’m really sorry. I think I might know where she is, but you’re not going to like it.”  
Peter sighed. “I don’t think I’m going to like it either way.”   
Vanessa laughed bitterly. “Yeah. I think Hydra’s targeting the Avengers and the Misfits. So far, Pietro Maximoff, Bucky Barnes, May Parker, Liam Grindlay, Angel Hildibrand, Olivia Nichols, Cooper and Lila Barton, Rebecca Barnes, and Pepper Potts have disappeared. All of them have ties to at least one Misfit or Avenger. And so far, we’ve only been able to recover Pietro Maximoff.  
Peter recoiled in shock. “That many? And, wait, I thought Quicksilver was dead. He died in the Battle of Sokovia. Is he now alive?”  
Vanessa nodded gravely. “I don’t know if they’ve all been kidnapped by Hydra, or if some of them just left. For instance, maybe whatever hypnotism Tony put on Pepper to make her fall in love with him wore off, and she left. But I know for a fact that Lila and Cooper Barton were taken. The same thing with Angel, Olivia, and Liam. The others have just faded off the map.”  
“You didn’t answer my question about Pietro.”  
“Let’s just say that bullets are made out of metal, and we have a girl with us who controls metal. We also have a girl with us - Maggie, you haven’t met her yet - who can cast illusions and enhance feelings.” Vanessa smirked to herself.  
“Holy shit! Sage can stop bullets with her mind? That’s so cool!” Peter grinned.  
Vanessa inclined her head toward him. “Well, it’s not the most reliable way to not get shot. She needs to know that someone’s about to pull the trigger, and where they’re aiming.”  
“Oh.” Vanessa giggled, probably at the amount of disappointment in his voice. “Who are all those people? And who are they connected to?”  
“So, a few of them are Misfits. Um, Angel Hildibrand is, and Olivia Nichols. Jake Grindlay is a clone of Steve Rogers, but . . . the cloning process didn’t work the way Hydra wanted it to. So he doesn’t fight with us, but he stays here. Angel comes and goes, but we haven’t heard from her in about three months, so we think something happened. Olivia usually travels with Maggie, but Maggie says she’s disappeared. And Jake got into an argument with Sage and stormed out, so we don’t know if he’s just sulking or has actually disappeared.”  
“What do you mean, ‘the cloning process didn’t work the way Hydra wanted it to’?” Peter asked.  
“Well, the super serum didn’t attach to Steve’s DNA.”  
“Oh, so he’s basically a pre-serum Steve Rogers.” Peter realized, shifting in his seat.  
“Yeah. So, it worked enough for him to not be in danger of keeling over every three seconds, but he’s still . . . not a fighter. Oh, so. Um. For Pietro, we faked his death, but then he disappeared and ran back to the Avengers before we could help him. Cooper and Lila are Clint Barton’s niece and nephew. They’re the children of his brother, Barney. Rebecca is this lovely 92 year old. She’s Bucky Barnes’s sister. And Bucky Barnes is gone, also. And Pepper Potts you know. And your aunt too, obviously.”  
“Alright. So what do I do in the meantime?” Peter asked, standing up to get a cup of coffee. He had a feeling they would be staying up late. “And what time is it?”  
“You can stay here and train. We told the school that you got hit by a car and are expected to make a safe recovery, but that should buy us some time.” Her voice floated in from the other room. Peter glanced at the clock on the wall, reading 9:27. “I think Lia would be really happy to train you. She’s given up with me.”  
“You fight?” Peter grinned, rummaging through the tiny, cluttered kitchen.  
“No. Not at all. Well, sometimes I can use my powers, but that’s only in worst case scenarios, because my powers are kind of explosive. And they’re hard to control.” Peter headed back into the living room, giving up the search for coffee. He plopped down next to Vanessa, who good-naturedly shoved him away.  
“But Maggie uses them for everything. If there’s a cup that’s just out of reach, she’ll levitate it toward her.”  
“What are her and Angel’s powers?”  
“Maggie can levitate stuff and control bio-electricity. So basically, she could make you think that I had purple hair, or she could make you slam your head against the wall.”  
“Yikes.”  
“Angel communicates with her mind as well as her voice. And she has wings. Not, like, like scary dragon wings, but fluffy feathery angel wings, hence the name. So she can fly. And sometimes uses them for battle. She’s from Asgard, so expect the accent and the way of speech. There’s a pool going for when she gets together with Jake.”  
“You guys bet on when your friends will start dating?”  
“Yes. There’s another one going for when Lia and Lorcan get together.”  
“Wow. Classy.” Peter snarked, bumping into her shoulder.  
“Shut up. Oh my god, I have to put Nakia to bed. ‘Night!” She raced off. Peter decided to call it a night as well. Heading up the stairs to his room, he noticed singing coming from Nakia’s room. He snuck closer, noticing that the song wasn’t in English. Russian? I think. The song ended, and Vanessa stepped outside of the room, closing the door. Turning around, she jumped.   
“Hey.”  
“Oh my god, Peter! You’re as bad as Lia.” She lightly hit his shoulder, and they both started walking toward the 5th floor. Peter noticed the window frame creaking, and looked at it curiously, before dismissing it as the wind.  
“What was the song you were singing to her? Was that Russian?”  
“Tili Tili Bom. And, yes, it’s in Russian.”   
“What are the lyrics? In English.” Peter asked, trying to keep the conversation moving.  
Vanessa began humming under her breath. “Hold up a sec. So, the song goes: 

Tili Tili Bom,  
So close your eyes now,  
Someone’s walking outside the house,  
And knocks on the door.

Tili Tili Bom,  
The night birds are chirping,  
He is inside the house,  
To visit those who can’t sleep.

He walks,  
He is coming,  
Closer.

Tili Tili Bom,  
Can you hear him closing in,  
Lurking around the corner,  
Staring right at you.

Tili Tili Bom,  
The silent night hides everything,  
He sneaks up behind you,  
And he is going to get you.

He walks,  
He is coming,  
Closer.

“Jesus Christ, Vanessa! She’s supposed to fall asleep after hearing that?” Peter asked as Vanessa laughed at his horrified expression.  
“I’ve never literally translated it before! It was just one of those songs that you would sing!” Vanessa protested.  
“You sing that to small children! Before they’re supposed to fall asleep! And since when do you speak Russian?”  
“I speak a lot of languages. German, Russian, French, Mandarin, and Latin.”  
“You speak Latin, but not Spanish.”  
“I’ve never been anywhere that the people speak Spanish, so I’ve never had to learn it.”  
“And where exactly do they speak Latin?” The two continued bickering as they walked to the 5th floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing a soul mark piece for Clintasha, but where he's not working with Shield when he's sent to kill her. In an AU where he tried a brief career as an assassin.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intro to new character and you get to see Sage at her new job.

. . . Angel’s POV . . . 

Angel clung to the wall, not trusting her wings to be quiet enough. She ducked down to peer through the window and watched the new kid and Vanessa talk. The new kid . . . Peter? walked up to the 5th floor. She made her way over to Vanessa’s window which was open a crack, and slipped in.   
Standing up, she dusted off the remaining ash and dust. She turned around and examined her reflection in the mirror. Her unwashed white-blonde hair hung below her waist, her face was too pale, and her ribs and collarbones jutted out. Her feathery wings were bloodied and bruised, like the rest of her. The last few months hadn’t been too kind.  
Hearing the door creak open, she twisted around. Vanessa gasped, then ran at her and hugged her.  
“Guys! Angel’s back! She’s not dead!” Angel laughed tiredly at Vanessa’s tone. “Have you been eating? You’re too thin. Where were you?”  
“It is a long story. May . . . may I go downstairs and talk to the rest?”  
“Oh, yeah, of course.” Vanessa scanned Angel, looking a little taken aback at her gaunt appearance. Angel let the shorter girl lead her down to the 4th floor, where the Misfits were gradually gathering. The second she appeared, Angel found herself being peppered with questions. Her wings curled protectively around her body.  
“Where have you been?”  
“Are you okay?”  
“Have you seen Jake?”  
“Where the fuck did you disappear to?”  
“Jase! Language!”   
“Sorry.”  
Angel held up her hands. “I was captured by Hydra. So was Jake. We were transported somewhere, I know not where. We were detained for about two months, until I escaped. Jake is still there.”   
Lia darted in. “Guys. We’ve got a huge problem. Oh, hey, Angel. Class B problem.”  
Lorcan ran in after her. Angel squinted at his hands, moving too fast for her to read them. Lia translated. “There was an incident. We think we might’ve found some of the disappeared people!”  
Vanessa pinched the bridge of her nose. “So, part of our team is captured and is probably being tortured, we’ve got a Class B problem related to that, and an evil organization is rising up again.”  
Ivalo beamed. “Fantastic.” The rest of the group looked at her. She stretched, then sauntered out of the room, calling over her shoulder. “I love a good problem. This will be the most fun I’ve had in awhile.”   
Vanessa and Jase shared a look, before Jase announced “Start training. Everyone except Angel.” Angel stood up, protesting, but Jase silenced her with a look. Not fair. I’m fine. Standing up, she immediately felt dizzy. Perhaps sleep would be a good idea. Everyone streamed out, each headed to different floors to prepare for the oncoming battle. Once they were ready, they were called to gather on the first floor living room. Meeting downstairs, Vanessa faced everyone.   
“None of you have to do this. This is totally optional. We could go in there and risk our lives to find nothing, or it could be a trap and we could all die.”  
Jase rolled his eyes. “Please. None of us have fought a real opponent in weeks. We could all use the exercise.” But underneath the carefree tone, Angel heard a touch of nerves and worry. Despite all of their joking and laughing, all of them understood exactly how dangerous this mission would be.

. . . Ivalo’s POV . . . 

The next morning . . .   
Lo scanned the group’s equipment on the rack before her. Under her breath, she muttered the amount of equipment that they were supposed to have.  
“Fifteen grenades, four stun batons, six guns, my gun,” she paused to stroke the metallic surface as she would a pet, “Jase’s swords, three pairs of brass knuckles, and a shit ton of bullets. That means we’re missing six throwing knives, a harpoon, two serrated knives, ten poisoned knives, and all of my garrotes. Damn it. I loved those garrotes.”  
She heard brief movement behind her, and focused on it before realizing it was Jase.   
“I’m going to tell Nessie that you swore.”  
“What are you, five?”  
“Hey, you totally deserved it.” Jase smirked at her, and she felt her heart flutter a little bit. I’ll run a health scan later. She walked over to the corner of the room and pulled on a pair of midnight blue gloves. Just in case. Strolling back over to her favorite gun, she held her auburn locks back with one hand and started to disassembled her gun with the other. Jase tossed a hairband at her, ambled over to one of the cabinets of weapons, grabbed his swords, and left.   
Lo shook off the weird tingling feeling Jase had left in his wake and finished disassembled the gun. She needs a name. How about Willa? Too weird. Gemma? Good. Gemma it is.   
“Where’s Sage?” said a voice behind her. Lo fell to the ground, twisting and firing her gun at the voice. Oh my god, Lia. You can’t sneak up on people. Someday I’m actually going to kill you. She said so to the scarlet haired smirking girl in front of her.   
“I’ll be fine. Where’s Sage?”  
“I don’t know. Why are you asking me, and not Tweedle Dum?”  
“ . . . I have no idea what just came out of your mouth, but I’m vaguely certain it was not inappropriate.”  
“You know, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?” Lia stared blankly and Lo. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”  
“No shit, Sherlock.”  
“Fuck you, Watson.”  
“Oh my god, you said bad words! I’m going to tell Nessie!” Lo tried to tackle the giggling girl as she darted around the small room. Lia twisted around and handed Lo back Gemma, which she had somehow stolen during being mock-tackled. Eventually, the two girls got down to business. Lia left, then came back and reported that Sage was at her job.   
“Not her real job, just her undercover one.”  
“ . . . right. I totally want to hear all of the details of Sage’s boring jobs.” Aside from her prickly tone, everyone in the tower knew that Lo would kill to score a job working undercover. Right now, Sage had landed a job as a personal assistant in Stark Tower. Whenever Pepper Potts wasn’t there, she took over. And since Pepper Potts was right now possibly kidnapped, Sage’s first day as a personal assistant started tomorrow. Good luck to her. Yay. Lo was so happy for her. She decided to take it out on a punching bag, which was where she was when Nessie found her.  
“I’ve got a job for you.”  
“Yay!”   
“How fast can you hack into security tapes?”

. . . Sage’s POV . . . 

Okay. I’m a new intern, I’m nervous, this is my first job in a big corporate building like this. Got it. At least I’m properly nervous.  
Sage stepped into the shiny elevator, and took a few seconds to scan her outfit. All of the jagged edges had been cut off of her hair, leaving it several inches shorter than she was used to. Instead of her normal grease stained jeans and tank top, she wore a pressed gray dress and sky-blue jacket that Lia swore brought out her eyes. Worst of all, the pink streaks had been washed out of her hair. Ugh.  
She stepped out of the elevator and briskly walked towards the room she had been told to go to. Walking inside, she found Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, and Nick Fury all staring at her. She glanced at the clock. 8:17. Damn it, I’m late. She sheepishly sat down and took a closer look at them all.   
Tony Stark. He’s got dark circles under his eyes, he’s not used to getting up this early. Great. Red eyes. Poor guy, he’s really worried about Pepper. That’s so sweet. He hasn’t eaten in the past 24 hours. Or washed. Or shaved. Good god, how did he manage before he met Pepper? Sage snapped back to attention as she looked up to see Natasha staring at her. Shit. She quickly started transcribing in shorthand every bit of the argument that Stark and Fury were having.

. . . 

Sage met Mr. Stark in an enormous ballroom. He was slouching on a stool in front of a bar that was much bigger than it needed to be, and was drinking from a glass filled with amber liquid. He looked up as she began reviewing his schedule.  
“You have an appointment with Maya Hofferman at 2. She’s going to talk to you about coming to her party to raise money for some organization. And than at 4, you have-”  
“You haven’t talked to the guy who works in the bar a few floors down, have you?” Mr. Stark interrupted.  
“N-no. Why?”  
Mr. Stark waved his hand idly. “Unlike some people I could mention, you strike me as the type to always be prepared. You should give Bar Guy a lesson. Maybe a PowerPoint.”  
“With all due respect, Mr. Stark, you’re too short to be this passive-aggressive.” Her eyes widened as she realized what had just burst out of her mouth. Wow. That came out of one the darkest and most sarcastic parts of my brain. Way to go, Sage. You just got yourself fired and failed your mission in one stupid move. She dared to glance at Mr. Stark. Instead of going red in the face like she had expected, he was staring into his glass, a slight smile on his face. She decided to pretend that she hadn’t said that and continued with her schedule.  
“And then, at 9-”  
“You know what? Cancel my appointments. All of them.”  
“Oh, and let me go make some popcorn, because watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.” No no no no no. Part of my brain with too much sass and too little self control? Shut up.  
“You know, if anyone could figure out how to piss on someone’s self-esteem, it would be you.”  
“Says the guy who is right now the personification of a hangover.”  
“Sorry . . . who, exactly, thought it was a good idea to hire you?” Sage winced slightly, staring at her clipboard.  
“Natasha Romanoff. She said it was my job to make you feel special and slightly offended.”  
“So, were you hired because you’d keep me in line, or . . .”   
Sage answered his unspoken question. “Yeah, but also I know how to kill a guy with a plastic cup. Like, multiple ways.” She risked another glance at the billionaire. He was watching her with a grin and had abandoned his glass. “She brought me in after a disastrous meeting you had with Nicholas Fury.”  
“When was that? Like, a month ago?”  
“Two.”  
“What . . . oh yeah, that one. That fight was awful. It took all my strength to sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and fluorescent lights.” Hearing this, Sage grimaced.  
“Yeah, I didn’t ask for details. So the rest of the Avengers are arriving at around 5 o’clock tonight to train. I assume you want me to kick everyone out of the training room?”  
“Yeah, that would be good, thanks. Do you know how to make a cocktail?”  
“Yes, but I have received strict instructions to not give you any alcohol, because you’re eventually going to end up dying, what with that amount of alcohol intake.”  
She walked over to Mr. Stark and grabbed his glass, pouring it down a nearby drain. “And part of my job description is to not let you die.”

. . . 

I have four degrees in various subjects. I graduated from Stanford University at the ten years old. I speak Mandarin, Cantonese, Italian, French, Latin, German, Korean, Spanish, Greek, Dutch, and can fluently sign and read sign language. At age 18, I have landed a job as the personal assistant for one of the most successful businessmen of this age. And I’m stuck running errands. Sage viciously thought, as she plastered on a smile and stepped through the front doors of Stark Tower. Sometime during the training, Stark had decided that he wanted Mexican food. Specifically Mexican food. From this one shop on the other end of New York. But she had to admit, it was a lot of fun to listen to the conversations the Avengers had.  
Unknown to Steve, the others had a running competition where they tried to get him going on a rant about America. So far, Hawkeye held the record after convincing Steve that he had never voted. Steve was just finishing up another rant when she stepped into the room.  
“Miss Belimari, don’t you think it’s important for the American society to have affordable healthcare?” Steve asked as she set down a plate in front of him. An idea struck her.  
“I don’t know. I don’t pay taxes. Don’t really see the point.” Steve gaped at her for a few second before going off on a rant about the “importance of the Democratic process.” She slyly made eye contact with Natasha, who nodded. Good, someone’s timing this.   
She nodded, serving coffee and tea and beer to the rest of the Avengers, ignoring Steve. For a few minutes, she strolled back and forth between the refrigerator and the group camping out on the sofa, while pretending to listen to the ranting of the blue and red and white clad soldier. Scarlett, please turn on Panic! At the Disco’s Victorious. Low volume.  
Of course, Sage. She smiled and nodded at Steve as the song drowned out any extra noise. The AI she had placed in her own operating system had a level where Sage could play music that only she could hear. Which all of the Misfits had agreed was totally awesome, but annoying when they were trying to talk to her. She made eye contact with Natasha, who mouthed six forty-one. Sage’s eyebrows shot up.  
What’s the record?  
Three minutes, twenty seconds.  
Nice. Tell Clint. Make sure to piss him off. Receiving this, a ghost of a smile crossed Natasha’s face, which for her was like rolling on the floor laughing. Sage was officially better than Mr. Barton at getting Steve to go on one of his patriotic rampages. She looked up suddenly as a teenage girl with black hair and a purple shirt reading “Barton Stray #1” entered the room. Who’s that? Scarlett, run a scan.   
Kate Bishop, also known as Hawkeye. Level six markswoman, level five acrobat, and partners with Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye. She currently lives with her foster father and trains and takes care of Clint Barton.  
Face it Scar, I think if no one was there he would just sit around and grump and eat pizza.  
‘Grump’ isn’t an actual verb. It’s an informal noun, and it’s an adjective, but it isn’t a verb.  
You’re ruining my mood, Scar.  
“Miss Belimari?”  
She looked up to see everyone staring at her. “Sorry?”  
“Clint’s stealing my coffee. Make him stop stealing my coffee.” Mr. Stark tattled.  
“No.”  
“Yes.”  
“No.”  
“Yes yes yes yes yes yes.” Mr. Stark protested.  
“No no no no no no no no no no no no no.” Sage replied. Clint and Mr. Banner looked like they were holding back a fit of laughter, Thor and Steve looked very confused, and Natasha had a look on her face like she had figured out something the rest hadn’t. Actually, that was her default expression. This was just more . . . smirky.   
“You need to use your words to make Clint understand that you don’t like that, and it makes you feel bad.” Sage responded, making her tone as condescending as possible. She felt like she was trying to teach Nakia not to hit people all over again. “Clint, you little shit, quit it.”  
“Thank you.” Stark smiled cockily. Clint took the coffee and poured it all over Stark’s designer suit, getting an “YOU ASSHOLE!” from Stark. Sage sighed, pinching the base of her nose as Nessie sometimes did.   
“Alright, that’s it.” Sage stormed out of the room and tore open the bag she had brought with her.   
Sage, blowing up the room is not an advisable action.   
I know. I’m not looking for the grenades. I’m looking for the puppets. Sage thought as viciously as possible. Telling a story using puppets was one of the ways they usually got Nakia to fall asleep, so everyone always carried extra puppets. Aha! She pulled out a puppet with a purple shirt, blonde hair, and a bow and a puppet with a goatee, dark hair, and sunglasses. She marched back into the dining room, where Stark was looking very nervous.  
“Look at this, you dicks. This,” she brandished the Stark puppet before shoving it at the real Stark, “is Stark and this,” she did the same to the Clint puppet, “is Clint. You two are going to narrate a conversation between yourselves using these puppets. And I want you both to understand that this is a tactic that my younger,” she paused for just a millisecond to find the right word, “sister, Lo, used to teach my toddler sister, Nakia, how to not throw a tantrum. I hold you two on the same conversational level as my four sister.” Clint looked vaguely ashamed. Stark’s expression didn’t change.  
Stark sighed and began moving his puppet around. “Tony wants Clint to stop coming in every available moment and stealing his coffee.”  
Clint replied with an arched eyebrow. “Well, Clint thinks Tony should learn to share and stop being a little bitch about it.”  
“Well, Tony thinks Clint is about to get a puppet up the ass!”  
“Clint wants to take this outside!”  
“Don’t shove your puppet in my face, Tin Man!”  
“Watch me, Merida!” Sage stepped in between the two, calmly sipping the remains of Stark’s coffee.   
“Okay, you two. Quit it.”  
“You little-”  
“Now, now, Stark. Don’t insult the girl that controls your schedule and has ties to several different assassins.” Sage decided it was time for her break and strolled out of the room.

. . . 2 Months Later . . . 

“Sage! Get in here!” Sage sighed and jogged into the machine room. There, she found Tony holding something that looked suspiciously like Steve’s shield.   
“What the . . .”  
“Sage! I need you to get Wilson’s wings. We’re going to burn all of the old crap, and replace it with new crap.”  
“You got bored?”  
“Yup! Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry u-.” Sage sighed again and headed out. She had learned fairly quickly that just after Tony would do anything nice, he would make some up excuse for it. Usually, he said he was bored. She scanned the heat signatures in the Tower, and headed for the 34’th floor. Walking out of the elevator, she felt a jolt of white-hot pain tear through her spine. She took a few seconds to compose herself. I’ll check that later. Usually, when her prosthetics decided to malfunction, she got some warning other than a bunch of pain. Ignoring the warnings scrolling across her vision, she walked into the first room on her left. There, she found Sam Wilson cooking.  
“Hi. Give me your wings.” She announced, with the most monotone expression she could conjure up.   
“No - I - Who are you?”  
“Tony’s new assistant. Give me the outdated pieces of crap that you call wings, and we’re going to science the shit out of them. Or throw them out and make new ones. Give me.”  
Sam Wilson stared at her for a few minutes, before reluctantly handing the wings over. She carefully ran her hands over the surface while scanning the material.  
“Carbon fiber? That is awesome. How’s the landing?”  
“Uh, pretty smooth. There’s more glitches with -”  
“-the liftoff, right, of course.” She easily flipped over the pack. “What about the wind   
drag?”  
“What about it?”  
Sage stared at the older man for a few seconds. “There’s nothing reducing the drag. Who designed this? I need to go kill them. Bye.” She hoisted the wings over her arm and walked back to the elevator. Dropping off the wings at Tony’s workshop, she was painfully aware of the sharp spike of pain, much worse than the last time. Turning away from Tony’s questioning look, she slipped into the nearest bathroom.  
She reached back, opening the control panel at the base of her neck. Pain rippled through her body, but she gritted her teeth and reached inside. Come on, Sage. You’ve done this tons of times.  
Yes, but usually the malfunction occurs in your feet. Never before have we experienced a malfunction of this type and this magnitude.   
I know, I know! What do I do? Sage could feel the wave of impending panic getting closer and closer and closerclosercloser. She bit her lip hard and tried to focus. Scar, I need help.  
What’s the source of the problem?   
I don’t know the source. I don’t know the problem. I don’t know how to fix myself. She pictured the waves getting closer.  
Who does?  
Nessie, probably.  
Who knows how to fix this, that you could contact right now?  
Right, Nessie’s on a mission. Um. I don’t know. I could, but I can’t operate on myself. We’re designed so that I can’t disable us. No one else in the building has the tec to understand . . . Tony. Tony probably could. She stood up, and tried to ignore the wave of pain that washed over her. Suddenly, her legs crumpled, and she slid back down to the floor. Ow. Scar, run a scan on internal and external injuries.  
There was an unnatural silence where usually her AI responded. Scar? Scar. Scar, where are you? Damn it. She sat up and reached toward her back panel again. Okay, self assessment time. On one hand, I know that something’s wrong in either my spine or my brain. There’s someone nearby who could probably fix this. That’s good. One the other hand, I have no way of contacting him, since I can’t stand and I don’t have any communication device on me. Sage felt ready to cry, and she wasn’t sure the tears came from pain or frustration. Suddenly, an idea hit her.  
“Friday. Friday, can you please ask Mr. Stark to come into the girl’s bathroom nearest to his workshop? I need help.” There was no response. Oh my god. This is . . . that’s it. She dragged herself to the nearest wall and looked around for a tool. Sage shakily stood, and ripped the faucet out of the sink before collapsing. Scanning the walls with her bionic vision, she found a large glowing red spot near the corner of the wall. Thankfully, it was near the ground.   
She heard babbling in one corner of her mind.  
Scar? Are you there?  
Potatoes.  
What the shit, Scar?  
Potatoes. And sheepy clouds. Sheepy clouds. Sheepy clouds. Sheepy clouds. Sheepy clouds.   
Sage pushed the chanting of ‘sheepy clouds’ to the back of her mind. Scar was obviously malfunctioning. Sage dragged herself over to the wall and started smashing at it with the splintering faucet. Once she had made a sizable hole, she clawed at the crumbling plaster. Reaching into the wall, she fumbled around until she grabbed a large smooth piece of metal. Tony Stark, I hate you. You just had to put the controls for Friday in a box. Oh well.


	6. Machine Meets Roadrunner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony figures out Sage's back story, Sage and Pietro meet, and Natasha meets the Misfits. You also get a more in depth description of the Misfits.

. . . Tony Stark’s POV . . .

While Tony fiddled with the wings, he started thinking. He still hadn’t introduced Sage to Pietro. That was sure to be a ton of fun. Those two would hate each other. Speaking of Sage, where was she?   
“Friday, buddy, could you tell Sage to come in here? I need her opinion on the new adjustments to the wings.” He had to say, the girl knew way too much about electronics. He had a bet going with Clint if she could hack Friday in an emergency. He almost snorted at the thought. No one could possibly hack his baby. Not in a million years.   
“Friday?” He suddenly remembered that he had disabled Friday because of some malfunctioning. Sighing, he was about to go look for her (the girl didn’t carry a phone) when he heard crackling coming from the speakers that Friday usually used. What the . . .   
“Tony?” Sage’s voice felt tinny and far away from the speakers. No way. She did not hack . . .   
“Tony. I need help. I’m in the bathroom nearest to your workshop.”  
“Wouldn’t you rather contact Natasha for something like that?”  
“What? Oh my god, no, Tony. This isn’t like that. This involves more . . . explaining and secrets. Please hurry.” Tony started jogging down the empty hallway.   
“How did you manage to hack Friday?” Tony asked. There wasn’t a response. He started sprinting. Running into the bathroom, he found Sage crumpled on the floor. Tony quickly picked her up and started running towards the infirmary. Sage woke up halfway there.   
“What the . . . where are you going?”  
“Infirmitary.”  
“No, stop!” Tony halted as she started squirming. She was surprisingly light for someone so tall.   
“Sage, you collapsed on the floor of the bathroom. You also hacked Friday, which we are going to talk about later, but you need to go to the infirmary. Or the hospital. What happened?” Tony gently put Sage down.  
“I’m fine. Well, I’m obviously not, but this has happened before. Believe me, I don’t need a doctor. I need a toolbox and a mechanic. And you have both.”  
“Sage-”  
“Shut up and take me to the workshop.” Tony sighed and picked her up. He was probably going to regret this later, after she passed out.   
“I’m going to take you to the workshop, and then you’re going to explain to me what’s going on, and then you’re going to the infirmary. Deal?”  
“Deal.” Tony headed back to his workshop. Once he arrived, he carefully put Sage on the table. She sighed.  
“I’m going to regret this. Alright, what I’m going to show you, you can’t tell anyone about.”  
Tony stared at her in disbelief. “Sage-”  
“No. You can’t tell anyone.”  
Tony threw up his hands. “Fine. I won’t tell anyone.”  
“Promise?”  
“Yes, I pinky promise and shit. What’s wrong?”  
Sage sighed again and reached behind her head. Tony heard a small click, and a metal panel swung open. What the . . . She met his eyes with a grim smile, and twisted her head so that Tony could see. At the base of her neck, there was a patch of tangled wires and metal. Tony looked closer. The wires disappeared down under the skin of her neck.   
“So, it’s either my spine or my brain that’s malfunctioning. If you could figure out which one it is and fix it sometime in the next few hundred years, that would be great.” Sage’s voice dripped with sarcasm.  
“Right, sorry. What . . . are you a mutant? But that wouldn’t explain the . . . what?”  
Sage bit her lip. “I’m like . . . what you would call a cyborg.” Tony’s eyes widened as she started telling him her story. She told him about her life, about how she was asked to enter Harvard at thirteen but turned it down for art school, and about how her mom lived in Ohio and sent her a postcard once a year. About her dad, who left to go get groceries and kept on going. Then she told him about a fire that was set and almost killed her. While she talked, Tony worked. The wiring inside of her was a level of complex that he had never seen before.  
She kept on talking. She told him about learning about Hydra and volunteering once they told her they could fix her. The assholes at Hydra removed all of the damaged limbs and replaced them with sorry excuses for weapons. She had figured out how to remove them, which sounded like something they weren’t counting on, and replaced them with prosthetics that looked like flesh. She told him about the training that she went through at Hydra.  
“Wait, but what was your job?” Tony interrupted.  
“What?”  
“Everyone had, like, a type of work that Hyra wanted them to do. Like, Barnes was an assassin, the twins were in case they needed a distraction. What were you?”  
“I. Um.” Tony looked at her curiously. “I think I’d rather tell you when my life isn’t in your hands. And I mean that literally.”  
“Oooookay.”  
She kept on going, telling him about how she hadn’t tried art since the accident, because she just didn’t have the time or the opportunity. Once she got to the part about her friends, she started smiling.  
“I met Nessie in there. She handpicked me for a team of a bunch of people like me. She’s the leader of our team. We call ourselves the Misfits. We, like, save people and stop Hydra. Nessie’s the most powerful out of the team, which is saying something.”  
“Who are the other people? What do they do?”   
“There’s seven of us, and a few people who occasionally join. Nessie’s the leader. Or, Vanessa. There’s Jase who’s her right hand man, and her brother. He adopted her as his sister last year. It was super cute. She started crying. Then there’s Ivalo, or Lo. She’s . . . terrifying. She’s like Natasha, but when you first meet her she’s super sweet and adorable. There’s Lia, who is intimidating. And Lorcan. Lia and Lorcan are best friends, and would finish each other’s sentences if they could. And then Nakia. Nakia’s cute. Oh, and Peter, but he’s an annoying little shit.”  
Tony thought of Peter Parker. “Sounds a little like a Peter I know.”  
“You have tomatoes on your eyes.”  
“ . . . what?”  
“It . . . it makes more sense in German. Never mind. Basically, the Peter you know is the Peter that I know. It’s the same Peter.”  
“Phh. No, he’s not.”  
“Yes, he is.”  
“No, he’s not.”  
“Yes, he is.”  
“No, he’s not.”  
“Yes, he is.”  
“No, he’s not.”  
“Yes, he is.”  
“I’ve finished.” Tony sat up, trying to process everything she had told him. “Now can you tell me what your job was, since my hands are not in your literal skull?”   
Sage sat up, twisting around to look at him. “So, we were all trained to kill a specific Avenger. Lia kills Clint, Lorcan kills Steve, Lo kills Thor, Jase kills Natasha, Nakia kills Bruce, and . . .”  
“ . . . you kill me.” Tony found it hard to finish the sentence. Sage nodded.   
“Let’s just say that there’s a reason we got the hell out of Doge.”

. . . Sage’s POV . . . 

Sage woke up the next morning, groggy and coffee deprived. Her back still hurt, and it took a few moments to understand where she was. Sage had slept over at the Tower after Tony had insisted that she could stay. She rolled over, and promptly fell off the bed. Sitting up, she groaned. Her head felt like . . . well, it felt like someone had reached in and tinkered with it. Getting to her feet, she stomped down to the kitchen. Coffee. I need coffee. Reaching the kitchen, she was surprised to see Clint, sitting on top of the fridge and drinking straight from the coffee pot.  
“God damn you, Clint.” She walked over to the coffee machine, ignoring Clint’s surprise, and grabbed a new pot.  
“What are you doing here?” Clint asked from his perch (to, perch) on top of the fridge.  
“Making coffee. I collapsed yesterday at work, and Tony told me could stay the night. Got me my own room and everything.”  
“Tony Stark?”  
“You know a different one?” She ignored Clint’s ramblings about all the times Tony had done something nice for someone else and grabbed her coffee. Natasha walked in.  
“Hey, Sagie.” Natasha spun her around and swiped her coffee, taking a sip before handing it back.   
“Don’t steal my coffee.” Sage grumped. “I need my coffee.” She curled protectively around the cup. Tony strolled in, dark shadows under his eyes. He snatched her coffee away and drained the entire thing in less than three seconds.  
“First sign of a good assistant, they understand what you need to function and they get it to you.”  
“That - no - that was mine!” Sage spluttered. Was everyone in the Tower going to mess with her this morning?  
“Tony, Nicholas wants us to train at the base today. We’re supposed to be there in a few minutes.” Natasha interrupted the lecture that Sage was about to start on.  
“You tell me that now?” Tony ran out of the room. Probably to fix his stupid hair. Sage thought venomously. Natasha wandered out, with Clint tagging after her.  
Scar? Are you there?   
Mi sembra di essere mal funzionante. Nuvole di pecora.  
Never mind.  
Sage scowled, getting a new cup of coffee. So, I woke up with the worst headache ever, then I fell out of the bed, then every single person in the Tower tried to steal my coffee, now Scar still isn’t working. Now what?  
‘Now’ came in the form of a blue and silver blur, that streaked in front of her, leaving the faint sound of laughter. Her coffee disappeared. No. Mine. My coffee. That is my coffee, and no hotshot little shit is going to laugh at stealing my coffee. A boy with a blue shirt and silver hair leaned against the frame of the doorway, sipping Sage’s coffee and smirking at her. Sage decided to ignore him and headed over again to the coffee machine. Pouring herself a new cup of coffee, she watched him out of the corner of her eye. He placed the coffee down, and shifted his feet, obviously getting ready to run.  
That little . . . Scar, slow down the vision in my right eye by 500% and speed up my body’s limbs and lungs and heart by 500%.  
Completato.  
Thank you. This little shit won’t know what hit him.  
The silver boy took off. Sage waited until the last second, then twisted around and punched him in the face. He gasped, and bent double. She gripped his head and brought it down on her knee, hard. He reeled backward. Sage roundhouse kicked him, twisting her body and snapping her leg. Once he had crumpled to the ground, she kicked him in the groin a few times.  
Scar, return all functions to normal.  
Completed. And, dare I say, that was excellently done.  
“What the . . .” the boy on the ground curled up into a ball, glaring at her. Sage smiled sweetly, doing her best impression of Lo, then slowly spilled the cold coffee over him.  
“Who are you?” He asked, groaning as he sat up. “Was that super speed?”  
“Nope. I’m Sage. And you are . . .”  
“ . . . Pietro.”  
“Huh. That’s the Italian version of the name ‘Peter.’ And thank god too, because we’ve already got a Peter. Well, we’ve got three, but you guys are idiots and haven’t figured that out yet.” She paused, taking a sip of coffee #3. Then it hit her. “Wait, Pietro Maximoff?”  
“No shit.”  
She started kicking him again. “You . . . stupid . . . worthless . . . piece . . . of . . . shit! Your sister has been looking for you for the last three months! It’s heartbreaking!”  
Pietro smiled sadly. “Yes. I know. The others told me.”  
She glowered at him. “She doesn’t know you’re here, by the way. We told her that you were alive, and she took off like a bat out of hell.”  
“I do not know that expression.”  
“Too bad. You don’t understand-”  
“-yes, I’m aware.”  
“I had to watch your sister scream when she thought you had died. I had to pull a hyperventilating nine-year-old out of the rubble that she had collapsed in her anguish.” Sage stopped, pressed her lips together, and continued in the same quiet terrible tone she had occasionally heard Nessie use. “I had to watch her sob and tell your dead body that she was older than you once twelve minutes had passed. I had to walk up to her, and tell her that I had saved your life and then lost you somewhere in Sokovia, when I knew perfectly well where you were. I had to lie to her happy, hopeful face.” The longer she talked, the more that stupid, shit-eating grin faded from Pietro’s face.  
She whirled around and decided that she either needed alcohol or art.

. . . Natasha’s POV . . . 

Natasha wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she heard quiet crying coming from the kitchen. Whatever it was, it sure wasn’t Pietro Maximoff, covered in blood and coffee, weeping while curled up on a ball on the floor. Sage sat on the kitchen counter, her eyes red and wet. She was stabbing a pencil into a piece of paper, tracing thick lines.  
“So, I see you two met.” Natasha said the only response that seemed appropriate at the moment. Pietro jumped, uncurling enough for her to see some very ugly bruises. “I was hoping to get you two to train against each other.”  
Sage raised her head. “And before you ask, Sagie, I know that you’re part of something secret that has trained you to kill people. Specifically, us. I know you wouldn’t kill us, and are working with a bunch of other kids. Please tell them that they’re perfectly welcome to train with me as well.”  
“You want me to get Lia, Lo, and you in the same room?” Sage’s voice was shaky, accenting her slight lisp. She had started nervously fiddling with her sleeves.  
“Yes.”  
“Well, I would call my team and invite them over, but unfortunately my hands have fallen off.”  
Pietro stared at her. “I think that was funny, but I do not see the joke. Was thaaaaaaaa!” His voice trailed off as Sage’s hands detached and clunked to the ground. “Oh my god!”  
Sage laughed softly. “It seemed like the only excuse I could use at the moment.” She slid off the kitchen counter and tried to pick up her hands. “Um. I have just realized that there is a reason that Nessie didn’t want me to do this. Okay. I can fix this.”  
Natasha tried to hide her shock as she picked up Sage’s hands. “How do . . . How do I . . .” I’m not trained to handle someone’s hands falling off. Well, I am, but they shouldn’t be purposefully ripping their hands off, prosthetic or not. Pull it together, Romanoff.  
She shoved Sage’s hands at her, and helped her put them back on. “So, you can call your friends and let them know that they can come over. And please make sure that the one that is supposed to kill me, doesn’t.”  
“Don’t worry, Jase wouldn’t.”  
“Got it. I’m going to trust you.”  
Five minutes later, a group of teenagers had gathered in the living room on the third floor. Natasha recognised Peter and Sage, but the rest were strangers. She walked in. A girl with long brown hair, big blue eyes and nervously bitten nails whipped around to watch her. She’s on edge. She usually is. The others are unconsciously watching and following her, so she’s the leader. She doesn’t think meeting here is a good idea. The girl stood up, reaching out a hand.  
“Hi. I’m Vanessa, and these are the Misfits.” She introduced herself in a soft voice. Natasha smiled disarmingly and shook her hand.  
“Natasha. Can I get everyone’s names?” The tall black boy leaning in the corner looked up and walked over. He had various scars across his body. Actually, everyone there did, except Vanessa.   
“And exactly how do we all know that you won’t pull the alarm the second we agree to training?” He’s really distrustful. Vanessa’s worried, but he’s prepared for an attack. I can’t blame him.  
“Why, who would I hand you over too?” Natasha asked.  
“I don’t know. Hydra.” Once he said this, Vanessa sighed and looked at him.   
“Because she’s Natasha, Jase.” Jase. Natasha recoiled slightly, once she connected the kid in front of her to the assassin that was supposed to kill her.  
“The fuck does that mean?”  
“Language. Natasha. Natasha Romanoff.” Hearing this, Jase grinned slightly wolfishly.  
“Oh, this’ll be fun. I’m Jason.”  
“Pleasure, I’m sure.” One by one, the teens and kids started to stand up and introduce themselves. Natasha scanned them all. None of them were the same age, none of them were the same race, and none of them had the same behaviors. But they all had the same battle-weary look about them, no matter how deeply some tried to hide it. As if they had all been in too many battles for their age.  
A pretty, curvy girl with auburn ringlets curled in a distinctly 1930’s way sauntered up to Natasha. Unlike the rest wearing combat or athletic gear, she wore a midnight blue dress with gloves to match. Self-confident. She’s seen her fair share of battles, if the scars mean anything. She faintly smelled jasmine and anti-septic, and introduced herself as Lo. Her voice held a trace of an Asgardian accent.  
She held the hand of a small girl, who couldn’t be older than five.   
“Do you want to introduce yourself, sweetie?” The little girl glared at Natasha. “Sorry, she’s a little shy, and her English still isn’t that good. She’s Nakia.” Nakia had honeyed skin and neatly done black braids. Natasha could see faint white scars tracing their way down her neck past the collar of the dress she wore. She decided that she was going to find whoever had hurt a kid that young, and kill them.  
The last one came up, a ridiculously tall teen with sandy blond hair and a seemingly permanent glare, who started signing at top speed, then retreated.  
“And he’s Lorcan. Who are we missing?” Vanessa looked around. “Oh, Lia. Oh. Wait. This should be good.”  
Natasha heard footsteps behind her and turned around. Behind her was a girl. She met the girl’s eyes and stopped. They had the same green eyes, the same red hair, the same tiny scar on their left cheek. It was like looking into a mirror, albeit a mirror with a smirk. She straightened, and led the group to the training room. Once she entered the training room, the Misfits started pairing up.  
Natasha compared herself to Lia. Lia was thinner, with longer, darker hair, and much shorter. She didn’t even know it was possible to be that short. She walked up to Lia.  
“So, when you’re fully grown, how tall are you going to be? Because we could trade places for a day.” Lia stared at her. Next to her, Lorcan doubled up with laughter. Lia’s gaze went from Slightly Mad to Murderous.   
“This is as tall as I’m ever going to get.”  
“Oh, you poor thing.” Natasha detected a well-hidden strong Russian accent behind the girl’s fake American one.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce meets the youngest Misfit and the Avengers and Misfits clash. There's a break in.

. . . Bruce’s POV . . . 

Upon the announcement that there was going to be children and teens in the Tower, Bruce headed down to the labs. There, he found Tony, and the two started working. They both lost track of time, and were startled when Sage ran in.  
“Have either of you seen Nakia?”  
They both stared at her. She was out of breath and panting, bent over.   
“Who?” Tony asked.  
“She’s the youngest. About four. Black hair. Dark skin. Have you seen her?”  
“No.”  
“Damn it. Let me know it you see her.” She dashed right back out again, closing the steel doors behind her.  
Tony looked at Bruce. “Friday, where is Nakia?”  
There was no answer.  
“Right, I disabled her. Here, help me hook her back up again.” Bruce started to hurry over, and felt a slight tug on his leg. He looked down to see a girl about the age that Sage had described. She had somehow wrapped her arms and legs around his leg without him feeling it, and was looking around the lab in mild interest while making Bruce carry her with his leg. Bruce looked over at Tony, who was too busy to notice.  
“Tony,” he whispered. Tony looked up, and looked questionably at Bruce. Bruce gestured frantically at his legs. Tony’s eyebrows shot up, and he knelt down next to the girl. She glared at him, and hugged closer to Bruce.  
Tony started speaking in a quiet, soft tone. “Hi. I’m Tony, and that’s Bruce. Are you Nakia?”  
“Ja.”  
“I think that was German. Do you speak English?” Tony asked.  
“Nein. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?”  
“I . . . don’t know what you just said. I’m going to safely guess that she doesn’t speak English. Do you understand English?”  
She nodded. “Ja.”  
Sage ran in again. “Friday says she went in here, have you guys seen - there you are, silly!” She took Nakia’s hand as Nakia giggled, and started to head off.  
Tony frowned. “But Friday isn’t working. How did you . . . nevermind, I don’t want to know.”  
Sage smirked a surprisingly Natasha-like smirk. “You’re right. You don’t want to know. Anyway, bunch of kids . . . like me were here, training, and Nakia got bored and wandered off.”  
Bruce picked up the double meaning behind ‘kids like me’ and met her eyes. Tony made the offer before he could.  
“You want to invite them to stay here for the night?”  
Sage smiled. “Sure. I’ll ask them.” She walked out of the room humming, with Nakia nervously following.  
Bruce narrowed his eyes at Tony. “Sure, and then ‘the night’ will turn into ‘only a few days,’ and then you’ll keep on saying ‘just a little while longer’ and making puppy eyes until they stay forever?”  
“That’s the plan.”  
“I’ve heard worse.”

. . . 

Bruce still hadn’t met all of the so-called ‘Misfits,’ and so was excited to meet the rest. The second he entered the dining room, Nakia squealed and ran across the room to hug him. She re-attached herself to his leg, leaving him to drag her across the floor. He stumbled over to the group of teens currently laughing at him. A few minutes and proper introductions later, Bruce decided to ask the question he’d been putting off.  
“So, if each of you are supposed to kill an Avenger, who is supposed to kill me?” Bruce asked. Everyone glanced down at the little leech attached to his leg. He looked down at her, too. She glared up at the rest of them.  
“Her? Really.”  
“Nakia’s a lot tougher than she looks. She would have to be.” Ivalo said bitterly. She pressed her lips together and blinked a few times, then swirled around and left. Vanessa grabbed Nakia and left after her. Jase looked around the circle.  
“So! Who wants dinner and a movie?”  
There was an unanimous agreement. Once the rest of the Tower had been caught up with the new people and dinner was eaten, Nat, Clint, Tony, Steve, Bruce, Thor, Pietro, and the Misfits settled on the couches together.   
“Do you guys have a list of movies that you can’t watch?” Vanessa asked, looking at the Avengers. They all looked at each other.  
“No,” Steve responded. “Why?”  
“Because the last time we watched, for example, the Titanic, Lia stabbed Lorcan. I didn’t even know it was possible, his reflexes are so fast. I think we should postpone watching a movie, since I for one do not want to see someone freak out or have a flashback.” Vanessa said.   
“Oookay. Agreed. So, what are your guys’s abilities?” Tony   
Jase sighed heavily. “Uuugh, this is going to take all night. I heal really fast. Like, I can’t heal if someone shoots me in the heart, or the brain, but I can recover from something like a knife in the thigh,” he looked pointedly at Lo, who smirked, “in a few minutes. And I run faster and am stronger than a normal person.”  
“Hey, you’re like Stevie.” Lo piped up from her position in a cocoon of roughly five million blankets.   
Jase stared at her. “Oh, yeah, I didn’t think of that.”  
Lia spoke up. “I’m basically a younger version of Natasha, compete with less experience, but I can also consume most poisons. And, um, most of my body fluids are poisonous.”  
Tony leaned forward. “Wait. Venomous, or poisonous?”  
“Both. The fluids disintegrate flesh. And Lorcan here has basically the same powers as Steve or Jase, just more . . . Wolveriny.”  
“Sometimes I fix people and destroy things. Sometimes I fix things and destroy people. Hence the gloves.” L0 joined in, pulling at the loose seams on her worn gloves. “And Nakia is indestructible. She can lift almost anything, and I’ve seen her punch holes through vibranium.”  
Sage smiled at Lo, before turning to the Avengers. “Most of my limbs are prosthetic. They can pack a punch, something that Speedy the Speedster here learned. Um, I have a system that I installed in my head that’s a little like Jarvis or Friday. And I can control metal.”  
Tony and Bruce both gaped at her. “That’s . . . like . . . you’re officially the most useful lab partner ever.” Tony stammered.  
“Hey!”  
“No offence, Bruce.”  
“Anyway, I do stuff with magic dust. I can usually read minds and hear thoughts, when people are being especially obtuse. And I work with time.” Vanessa interrupted, glaring at Bruce and Tony.  
“Can you specify ‘work with time?’ ” Bruce asked. He really needed to write all of this down.  
“I can sometimes see what’s about to happen, and I know what’ll probably happen if something else happens. For example, I could stop a cup from falling off the table, but . . . okay, bad example. I could stop someone from dying, but then the thing they achieve before they died wouldn’t be done, and something else would happen. It’s a bit complicated.”  
“So, you can tell everything that’s about to happen.” Bruce grabbed a scrap of paper and a pencil stub from his pocket and started writing.  
“Ha. No. Not everything. I can tell something big is going to happen in thirty-three minutes, and I would tell you who it involves, but . . . Anyway, I can’t make out the details. Just that it’s going to be big, and life changing, and Pietro’s going to get . . . how do I say this -”  
“- bitch slapped.”  
“Yes, thank you Jase. That’s fifty cents for the Swear Jar. I would tell you everything I knew, but then you’d get prepared, and it change what would happen, and it would all just become this big mess.”  
Tony checked his watch. “Thirty three minutes, huh? I’ll test that. Can you time travel?”  
Vanessa sighed. “And, we’ve reached the point where things get very complicated.”  
Tony cracked up, and Bruce stared at Vanessa. “You can’t time travel.”  
Peter nodded. “That’s impossible. Physically impossible.”  
Vanessa, avoiding the subject of time travel, drew a fancy and complicated-looking pocket watch out of her coat. “We’ve got half an hour left. Other than watch a movie, what can we do?”  
Lo spoke up again. “We can try to get Peter drunk.”  
“Okay, other than those two things?”  
Thor interrupted. “I agree, Lady Ivalo. Men need proper nutrition to defeat evil. I have brought the finest of Asgardian ale to give to Friend Steven. I shall find the proper ale for Friend Peter.” He stood up, and strode toward the kitchen. Peter looked toward Tony, panicked.  
“Don’t worry, you don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.” Peter visibly relaxed. Lia rolled her eyes, disentangling herself from her position on the couch with Lorcan.   
“What’s Asgardian ale?” She asked, stretching.  
“It’s this kind of magic drink that gets even me drunk.” Steve answered. Thor walked back over, and placed a glass of abler liquid on the table. He added a few drops from a flask he carried, and placed it in front of Peter. Peter gulped.  
“Thor, he’s sixteen.” Vanessa sighed. Thor beamed, and placed another glass in front of Peter.  
“Yes! Growing youths need drink!”  
“Thor, no.”   
Lia looked far too curious for anything to go right in the next half hour. “Wait, so this ‘magical drink’ gets everyone drunk?” Almost simultaneously, the Misfits (except for Peter) sighed.  
Thor looked very puzzled. “That is correct, Lady Lia. Why do you ask?” Lia smiled.  
“Could I try it?”  
“I think not. Ale is not, with the exception of Lady Sif, a drink that woman drink. And Asgardian ale is not for most mortals, as they are usually too weak to consume it. Even I, as a Asgardian prince, cannot drink more than a few sips.” Bruce could tell this was the exact opposite of what she wanted to hear. Lia jumped up and walked over to Thor’s flask lying on the table. She unscrewed it. Lorcan growled, and started signing at her. Lia rolled her eyes.   
“I’ll be fine.” She chugged the entire thing, then let it clunk to the ground and walked back to her seat, ignoring everyone’s stares. Lorcan sighed, shaking his head at her.   
“What? I didn’t feel anything. I don’t even feel lightly buzzed.” Bruce decided that he wouldn’t want to learn what kind of training toughened her to that point.  
The group wasted the next half hour talking and comparing training strategies. 

. . . Lorcan’s POV . . . 

Lorcan glared at Lia. She ignored him, turning away the second he started signing. He met Nessie’s eyes, as she pointed to the watch. His eyes widened. He spun Lia around, and signed Time’s up.   
“Shit.”  
“What? What did tall and scary say?” The annoying man with a stupid goatee asked. Lorcan tackled Lia as the wall exploded. Red tendrils streaked through the room. Lorcan found he was having trouble breathing. Right now is not a good time for a flashback. Pull it together. He dragged an unconscious Lia behind the overturned couch, out of reach of the red tendrils. Looking around the top of the couch, he saw Nessie storming into the destroyed room, red swirling around her hands.  
Not Nessie. Nessie’s magic is purple, not red. Nessie’s magic wouldn’t hurt Lia. This isn’t Nessie, which means this bitch is going down. Vaulting over the couch, he grabbed Thor’s stupid hammer, and charged the floating girl. Holding out the hammer, he could feel a buildup of power behind it. Lightning. Perfect. Lorcan concentrated on the power, and it coursed through his body. Every bit of metal fused and gnarled around his bones vibrated.  
He could hear someone screaming in the background, and was briefly glad that it wasn’t him. Dropping the hammer, he crumpled to the ground. No. You can’t faint. Someone’s hurt. It might be Lia. Getting to his feet, Lorcan lifted his head to see Lia standing in front of him, a horrified expression on her face. The fuzzy black in the corner of his eyes stretched around his vision.   
He struggled to his feet and stumbled over to Lia. Are you okay?  
“I’m fine, you dick. What the hell was that? Are you purposely trying to kill yourself?” She was speaking Russian, normal for when she was surprised or angry. He grinned. I’m fine. He looked around the room. Everyone was getting to their feet, but the girl he had blasted was still unconscious. He approached her slowly. Checked her pulse. She was out for the count, but she should be fine. Something hit him, and he went flying, smashing into the wall. He heard Lia’s scream as he slid to the floor, leaving a path of blood behind. He got to his feet, and his heart sank. How the fuck am I supposed to fight a guy that moves faster than I can see?  
Lia jumped at Silver Asshat, wrapping her thighs around his neck and pinning him to the ground. Her cinnamon smell wafted over to where Lorcan’s sensitive nose could pick it up. Lia had landed on top of Silver Asshat, and was trying to smash his face in with her tiny fists. What the hell are you doing? He asked her.  
“Apologies, Sir, but there appears to be an intruder.”  
“Wow, thanks Friday, I hadn't noticed.”  
“Not Miss Maximoff. James Barnes.” Everyone turned to Nessie. Lorcan shouldered his way over to her, leaving Lia with Silver Asshat, against his will. What’s going on?  
Nessie sighed. “We’re going to have to split into two teams. Scar #2’s here, Believer just arrived, and Reindeer Games is running late.”  
The annoying man looked at her again. “What. What even.”  
“Uggh. Right, have to translate for normal people. Wanda has arrived, Bucky Barnes has just arrived, and -” There was a violent jerk, and the room swayed. “-Loki just arrived. Who wants to retrieve who?”  
Everyone stared at her. Mr. An Eagle Is Born Every Time I Have Sex spoke up first. “Bucky’s here. Like, not the Winter Soldier. Bucky.”  
“Yep. You can lead the team to get him back in here. Pick who else you want. I’ll get Loki, and I pick Lo, Nakia, Clint, Bruce, and Thor. Get whoever else wants to come, and Bucky’s on the third floor.”  
Mr. An Eagle Is Born Every Time I Have Sex looked stunned. “Um, um I - I pick Natasha, um,”  
Lia interrupted. “Lorcan and I will come along. We’ve met Barnes before.” She signed Do you remember?  
Lorcan did. He remembered snow, covered with Lia’s blood. He remembered her walking and running and sprinting on a broken ankle because she was too scared to mention it. He remembered asking what she wanted for breakfast and her going into a full-blown panic attack. It had been their first mission together. The Winter Soldier had been sent to retrieve them, and he had gotten captured once they all broken through their programming.  
He and Lia ran down the last few flights of stairs to the third floor. There, they found a tall man with long hair and a hoodie standing in the middle of the hallway. Despite the civilian clothes, he was in a fighting position, about to attack Lia. Why is it always Lia? Why can’t they attack me off the bat? Or Jase? Someone who heals faster than normal. Not Lia.   
Barnes started toward them, grabbing a knife and slicing at Lia. Lorcan shoved her onto the ground, and roundhouse kicked Barnes in the head. He ducked, but Lorcan’s leg still glanced off. From the ground, Lia took out his knees, and tackled him. She landed next to Barnes, and somehow managed to knock him out. Lia flipped to her feet, and Lorcan saw the wild look in her eyes. He grabbed her hand, and hugged her.  
“Get off, you big lump.” Lorcan didn’t move. Lia sighed and signed I’m better. He released her, and turned around to see everyone’s impressed looks. Mr. An Eagle Is Born Every Time I Have Sex had paled considerably. He ran toward Barnes, and shook him. Not surprisingly, Barnes tried to smash his stupid face in. It was a wonder he had survived this long. Lia (of course) ran over and kneeled next to Barnes.  
“It’s alright. No one’s going to hurt you here. You’re safe.”  
Barnes eventually found his voice, and pointed towards Lorcan. “He just tried to punch my face in!” Lorcan shrugged.   
“Well, you were about to kill me, so Lorcan had a reason.” Barnes rammed into Lia, sending her tumbling away. Lorcan could feel his claws shoot out. Lia shook her head at him, meaning don’t attack. Lorcan understood. If he attacked, Barnes would defend, and the cycle wouldn’t stop. Lia stood up, walking over to Barnes. She knelt beside him again.  
“Do you know where you are? Do you know who we are?” Barnes nodded nervously to both of her questions. Lia pushed her long hair out of her eyes. “Can you tell me my name?”  
“You’re Ira. And he’s . . . I don’t remember him. And he’s Steve.”  
“That’s right. You didn’t really meet Lorcan. And I go by Lia now, but you can call me Ira. That was my name.” Lorcan remembered a day a long time ago, when she had yelled that Ira was an innocent kid who lived on the streets and stole to live to the next day. That she had changed, and wasn’t Ira anymore. He still remembered watching the sunlight streak through the window and shimmer off her hair, but it had been black then, and short.  
Every mission that she went on, she left a little bit more of Ira behind, and became a little more of Lia. Lorcan had mixed feelings about that. He walked behind her, and offered a hand to Barnes, who ignored it and stood up.   
“Buck. What are you doing here?” Mr. An Eagle Is Born Every Time I Have Sex asked.  
“I need to warn you.”


	8. Lo Doesn't Know Why She Puts Up With These Assholes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lo finds Loki, and does not get paid enough to put up with his shit. (Actually, she doesn't get paid.)

. . . Lo’s POV . . . 

Lo still remembered Loki from part of her terrible childhood. He had been constantly teasing her on her hair, her clothes, and the way she looked. Well, too bad for him. She was the one currently wearing clean clothes, with an awesome hairstyle, and surrounded by friends. He was the one curled up in a ball at her feet, dressed in rags and bleeding to death. Speaking of which, she should probably do something about that.

She traced a finger over his arm, trying to get a read on the situation. “He’s got internal bleeding, three cracked ribs, something like ten million broken bones, burns all over, lashes, and a bunch of other stuff I don’t want to say because Bruce will either throw up, pass out, or Hulk out.” She focused all of her energy on the internal bleeding, the first thing that was going to kill him. “He has been very obviously tortured. Thor, I blame you.”

“You blame me for the misfortune that has befallen my brother?”

“Yup. The Chitauri did this.” At the mention of the Chitauri, Loki started to stir. 

“Where . . . where . . .”

“Shut up. And hold still. This is going to hurt. Feel free to pass out.” Lo turned to Thor, the only monstrously sized guy available. “You, get him to the medic wing. Based on some of the stupid shit that has been going on for the last few years, I think you guys should have a medic wing.”

Loki tried to look at her. “Are . . . are you . . . Ivalo?”

“You mean the girl you bullied when you were younger? Yup. And look where I am now.” Lo tried to distract him as Thor picked him up. “Standing over you, able to heal you. But should I? I don’t know.”

“Lady Ivalo, you must heal my brother!”

Lo sighed. “That was sarcasm.” She turned to Nakia. “And Thor is the perfect example of an idiot.” Nakia nodded. Loki cracked a grin, then winced as Thor started walking. 

“I must agree. Have you . . . seen the places he leaves Mjolnir?”

“I’ve been here for about four hours.”

“And you have already appointed a minion? I must admit I am impressed.”

“I’m not ‘appointing a minion,’ I’m raising a child.”

“And how has that been going?” The two of them continued bickering as the group entered the elevator. 

“It’s like taking care of a very drunk, tiny adult, while you yourself are drunk. Most of the time I’m saying something like ‘I’m not confident in my decisions, but I’m pretty sure you should not be trying to lick a bilgesnipe.’ Bruce, you’re not going to understand that, but that was a very funny joke.”

“I’m sure.” Bruce said as Loki started laughing, then stopped as soon as the pain in his ribs flared up.

“Shut up, Reindeer Games.” Loki scowled. “No, seriously, shut up. You’ve got both internal bleeding and broken ribs. I don’t think you want to be moving or laughing anytime soon. As funny as I am.”

“Silence, Valor.” Lo winced at the reminder of the nickname given to her. Sif had originally started the name calling without meaning to, remarking offhandedly about her name. ‘Valor’ was just a reminder of how she had either run away from every fight she had ever been in, or used dirty tricks to win.

“Don’t call me that.”  
“Why, are you brave?”

“No, I’m alive. The brave don’t live very long.” 

“I am also alive.” Lo stared at Loki until he figured out what he just said. He grimaced and turned away. 

“And you want to know what else you are?” Lo asked smugly. Loki gave a noncommittal grunt. “You are an idiot.”

Loki responded with a stream of curses in Norse that made her crack up, but Thor blushed. 

“Oh my, Loki. Should I get Frigga wash your mouth out with soap? Because I distinctly remember that happening a few times to the two of you.”

Both brothers paused and looked at her. The elevator dinged and Thor continued carrying Loki toward the medic wing. Lo looked at both of them. There was an element here that they were hiding from her. She sprinted after them.

“Hey! Wait up!” Thor paused long enough for her to catch up, then continued walking at the same surprisingly quick pace. “What? I’m sorry if I said something that offended either of you, but honestly . . . what . . . where’s Frigga?” Neither brother looked at her. “I said, where’s Frigga?” Thor met her expression with the saddest puppy dog eyes she had ever seen. 

“Frigga is dead.” Lo stood in the middle of the hallway, stunned. 

. . . Lia’s POV . . . 

Walking into the kitchen of her and Lorcan’s floor, Lia noticed a piano in the corner. She hesitantly walked over and began playing. Lia lost herself in the melody, glad that her fingers had memorised it. Somewhere throughout the song, she stopped humming and started singing. Finishing the piece, she looked up to see Lorcan watching her with a small smile on his face.

“You told Tony that I played piano.” She accused, switching over to her native Russian.

He smirked at her, fingers flashing. 

*Who, me? I did nothing.*

“Jerk.” 

*Princess.*

“You bet.” She shot a grin at him. “Are we supposed to be somewhere, or can we watch a movie?”

*Barnes and Nessie are going to compare notes on the bad guys.*

“Fuck.”

*I know.* She stood up, and they walked toward the living room. Lia decided that she liked living in Stark Tower much more than their normal crappy apartment.   
Normally, they would share a room with Lo. That was not fun. That was not fun at all. But now, Lia and Lorcan had half a floor to themselves. It was awesome. Their bedroom was a fairly large room, with a curtain hung in the middle. A large window took up an entire wall, but the rest were painted a warm creamy white, with flowers in vases on multiple surfaces. Lia had draped several pieces of brightly colored cloth across the walls, and had pinned various masquerade masks above her bed. The ceiling had a huge piece of midnight blue cloth covering it, with fairy lights strewn across, mimicking stars. It was perfect.

Strolling into the living room, she saw Tasha lounging across the couch, her head on Clint’s lap. Clint was cleaning his gun, occasionally stroking Tasha’s head. Bruce and Tony were avidly talking together, and Thor and Lo were glaring at each other. Nessie was laughing at something with Peter, while Jase listened on. Nakia was still curled around Bruce’s leg, and he was still trying to ignore her. Barnes was leaning against Steve, with Lo eyeing them both and smirking to herself.

Lia cleared her throat. “Hey. What’s the plan?”

Natasha looked at her. “We were planning on letting the Misfits plan, then deciding if it was a good plan.”

“You’re just going to us do all the work, then. Smart. Nessie, you’re the leader, take the reins.” Nessie straightened. 

“Okay. Let’s see who we’re missing. Sam Wilson, Loki, Wade, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, Peter-"

“-I’m right here.”

“Not you. Peter, Groot, Olivia, Luna, and Maggie.” Lia turned around as Pietro walked into the room. He had bruises on both sides of his face, his neck, and was walking stiffly. Lia smirked at Lorcan. Go Sage.

“I don’t mind missing the rest of them, but Maggie is the main person I need on my team. And Maggie and Olivia and Luna come together as a package-”

“ -mostly because Maggie has a huge crush on Luna.”

“Thank you Lo, that was totally necessary. Maggie, I need on my team, but I think you guys would have fun meeting the Guardians. The Defenders we can leave out until later. Our main problem in Hydra. They’ve created a new generation of Enhanced, that can cast spells. We're thinking that they’re trying to kill the Avengers and wipe out Shield. We need to either kill or capture every one of the Enhanced, because they’re all really powerful. I’m thinking of . . . Lo, wake up.”

Lo sat up. “I was awake!”

“Didn’t look like it. Long story short: train in teams to take down groups of Enhanced. I’ll take a group to get to the center of Hydra, and hopefully get to blow up Hydra’s base. Not going to kill them, but it’ll stop them for a little while.”

The Avengers all looked at each other. “Good plan.” Natasha said finally. “Where’d you get the information about Hydra?”

“From Barnes, and sending Lia in on spying missions.”

“What kind of . . . magic can we expect from these . . . Enhanced.” Steve got out. His brow was wrinkled, and Lia felt bad for him. He had woken up in a new world, one with new technology, and new people, and new monsters. And people had expected him to adapt and be ready to defend. She could sympathise.

Nessie smiled kindly at him. “Some bring back memories, some turn back time, some can make you younger, and some can get you trapped in the past.”

Everyone went quiet. Nessie paused, then continued. “I won’t blame anyone for backing out of this fight. No shame in backing out later, either. This is going to be new and terrifying.”

Lia looked around the circle. No one was backing down, no one was backing out. She caught Nessie’s eye and spoke up.

“You can do the some of the same things that the Enhanced can.”

Nessie nodded hesitantly. “Yes. I can.”

“I take it you’re going to go against us in training to help us practice?” Nessie nodded again. Steve looked up.

“What do you mean, ‘we?’ The Misfits aren’t fighting this battle. This is the Avengers against Hydra.” Nessie fixed her penetrating stare on Steve, and Lia winced. She had never seen Nessie lose an argument.

“Why not?”

“You guys are kids. Nakia’s got to be, what, four? Three? None of you are properly trained, and none of you are equipped to fight something like this.” Nessie stared at him. She just . . . stared. 

“You mean none of us are powerful enough to keep up with you.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You thought it. Guys! Who’s the weakest team member?” The Misfits all looked at each other. Lia glanced at everyone, then spoke up.

“Probably Jase.” Jase shrugged.

“The strongest one on our team has the same skill set as Captain America. We weren’t created to just kill you, we were created to take down Shield. More specifically, I take down Shield.”

Steve looked at her. “You mean you and someone else?” Lia grimaced, thinking *just give in, Steve. She’s going to beat you, and she’s not in a good mood.*

“Me. By myself, I could kill everyone in this room. With the Misfits, I can take down Shield. I wouldn’t, of course, but there’s something in the thought.”

Steve looked vaguely nauseated. “That’s-” There was an ear splitting crash, and the side of the building caved in. “What the hell?”

Nessie’s eyes darting around the room. “I don’t know what just happened!” She yelled, fighting to be heard over the wind. Lia dodged Lorcan trying to grab her and vaulted onto the coffee table.   
“Everybody down!” Lia called out. She dashed over to Clint, and waited. A woman smashed in through the hole in the wall. She doubled over in pain, and collapsed. Nessie ran over to her and knelt down beside her. After a moment, Nessie sat up and spoke in everyone’s mind. 

 

Lia grabbed Lorcan, Peter, Nakia, Steve, Bucky and retreated into the corner. She gathered them into a group and tried to explain what was about to happen. 

“A bunch of the Enhanced are about to attack. They don’t know we are here, but they are trying to kill the girl.” She tried to simplify it for Nakia. “Her name is Lucille, and she’s a friend. Nessie told her where we were in case she needed help, and now she needs help.”

“Do I hit bad guys?” Nakia asked. Peter looked at her in surprise. 

“She speaks English?”

“Yes, and holy shit, Peter, it took you that long? Try not to kill anyone, but if it comes down between you and them, kill the sorry bastards. Peter, you’re probably not going to kill anyone, and that’s . . . probably for the best. Lorcan, stick by me.”

A woman materialized in the center of the room, and two men appeared next to her. One of the men met Lia’s eyes and grinned, walking toward her. Lia tried to swallow her nervousness, and drew her favorite poisoned blade. The man walked toward her at a leisurely pace, reaching into a bag near his hip and drawing out a handful of shimmering dust.

“Do not get touched by the dust. I don’t think it could do anything good.” Lia informed the rest, trying to stay calm. Steve whipped his shield at the man, who ducked. The shield bounced off the wall and knocked the man over. Lia took advantage of the moment and jumped at him, stabbing Sting into the man’s arm. The second the poison kicked in, he started thrashing, catching Nakia with a bit of dust. 

Red splattered across Lia’s vision, as she positioned herself on top of the man and started viciously choking him. She stopped the second he passed out, but she had still wasted too much time. She quickly glanced around the room. 

Lo was tending to Nakia, who had passed out. Sage, Clint, and Bucky weren’t looking too hot, either. She suspected they’d been hit with something. Bruce had hulked out, and now his angry alter ego was splintering the ground, trying to hit the second man, while Steve and Nessie helped. Lia ran over to them. 

The man was casting spells that barely missed Nessie, who matched him spell for spell. Peter swung over and webbed the guy to a flying piece of plaster, sending him sailing backward. Out of nowhere, Lorcan leapt at the man, slicing into his thigh. Lia saw what happened before anyone else. The man kicked Lorcan, sending him sprawling, and drew a long serrated knife, the kind used for fighting in close quarters.

Lia darted in front of Lorcan and jumped on top of him. She felt the knife slide in through her ribs, and screamed.


	9. Everyone Hates Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers and the Misfits meet together to talk and to plan.

. . . Bruce’s POV . . . 

Bruce woke up to Nakia shaking him.

“Wha . . . Nakia . . . Stop it!” She smiled, and pushed him to get up. Once he groggily got to his feet, he surveyed the damage done to the room. Most of the people were gone, but a few remained.   
Pietro and Lo were kneeling next to a very green-looking Sage, all covered with dust, and Lorcan was lifting up Lia. Lorcan headed over to Bruce, and started signing violently.

“I don’t . . . oh god, she’s bleeding.” Bruce helped him place Lia on a the ground, and lifted up her shirt. She had a knife stuck in between her ribs. Bruce inhaled, looking away. He focused again, and started looking for signs of blood poisoning. 

“What happened? Can you get Lo over here to translate?” Lorcan sprinted across the room, and beckoned at Lo, who obediently headed over. She bent over next to Bruce.

“Lorcan says that she took a knife for him because she’s a . . . I’m not going to translate that. He can smell poison on the knife, but it’s not affecting her because, hello, training. Don’t get her blood on your hands if you can avoid it.”

Bruce finished patching her up. “Lorcan, you need you take Lia to the twenty-ninth level. There’s a hospital there, and the nurse understands sign language. Make sure to tell her to not get Lia’s blood on her hands.” Lorcan nodded, and sprinted off with Lia cradled in his arms.

Bruce rotated over to the other side of the room, where Sage lay slumped on the floor. He turned back to Lo, the only other person in the room with any idea of what to do. “What’s wrong with her?”

“I don’t know. She keeps on insisting she’s fine, but something’s wrong. She got hit full blast with that magic dust, and kept on fighting. Nakia also got hit, but it was a much smaller amount, even proportionally, and she didn’t inhale it. I haven’t had to treat this kind of thing before, since Nessie had us fight her, but then she didn’t have the magic dust. And-”

Bruce stopped her. “You’re babbling.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.” Bruce scanned Sage. She had dust covering her face and hair. Pietro was switching back and forth between clearing the dust away from her face and trying to shake her awake. Bruce checked her vital signs and found that she had the same symptoms as a fever. The dust was leaving streaks of color behind. Bruce scraped anxiously at her skin as the dust traced the outlines of her veins. Lo spoke up from behind him, making him jump.

“You can’t clear that stuff away, I tried. Repeatedly. And it’s not hurting us, just . . . sitting there.” Bruce found that she was right, as he tried to clean her skin. The dust clung to his hands, turning green. The remainder of his green flip side made his stomach churn. He glanced at his hands again, then at the blue and purple clouds around Sage’s wrists. Wait . . .

He looked at Pietro and Lo, both covered with the same dust. Lo’s hands were hiding in her sleeves, and Pietro was absentmindedly touching his chest and shoulder.

“You guys got sprayed as well, didn’t you?”

“We didn’t inhale it. Sage did. I think the dust just reminds us of bad stuff, and only hurts us if we inhale it. That’s my hypothesis, anyway.” Lo answered. Bruce got a better look at her hands, with bloody red streaks blossoming from the fingertips. 

“I’m reminded of the Hulk, you’re reminded of blood, and Pietro . . .” Bruce trailed off. Pietro sighed and pulled his shirt down, exposing the dust gathered into large red wounds. “ . . . bullet holes. That makes sense.”

Sage twitched at their feet. She sat up, clawing at her arms. Lo sat next to her, trying to calm her. Sage looked around deliriously. She obviously didn’t recognise any of them, and kept on trying to detach her arms. Lo grabbed her hand as she screamed, punching the younger girl clear across the room. 

“Whoa, whoa! Hold on!” Bruce tried to grab her arm as she curled in on herself.

“Bruce! She thinks she’s still . . . don’t touch her!” Lo called from across the room. Bruce got a closer look at the shuddering girl at his feet, not trying to defend herself at all. He waited until she fell unconscious, then tried to lift her. To his surprise, she was much lighter than expected. Bruce handed her to Pietro, then gave him specific instructions on the floor to take her to. Once Pietro zipped off, he sat down with Lo.

“Hey. Hey, are you okay?” Lo burst into tears. She sobbed into Bruce’s shirt as he awkwardly patted her back, telling him about how much stress she was in trying to take care of the entire team, raise Nakia, fight for herself, and now figure out new magic that she had never encountered before. Once the crying spell stopped, she started kicking and blasting any loose debris. Bruce took that as his signal to leave.

He stopped by the infirmary, and felt really bad for the nurses. Down there was Sage, covered in nightmare power and delirious, Lia, stabbed in the chest, Wanda, blasted with electricity, and Loki, beaten and tortured beyond belief. 

. . . Pietro’s POV . . . 

Pietro was by Wanda’s side when she woke up. She sat straight up, twisting around to meet his eyes. She reached out and took his hand, looking around the room.

“Where am I?”

“The infirmary. You are safe.”

Wanda blinked for a few minutes, remembering everything that happened, then punched Pietro.

“You idiot! You let me think you were dead, then reappear after I have been looking for you!” She yelled at him. “You have bruises on your face. Did you fight someone?” Pietro awkwardly rubbed his face.

“No, I . . . I tried to steal a girl’s drink, and she struck me.” He gestured at Sage. “That girl.” Sage stirred.

“What the . . . where am I?”

“The infirmary. You are safe. Please do not hit me.”

“Why would I hit you?” Sage smiled, twisting over to look at Wanda. “Hi! You must be Wanda. I was the one who . . .” She trailed off as Wanda’s eyes lit up in recognition.

“ . . . told me where my idiot brother had disappeared to. Yes, I remember you. How did you and your friends save his life?”

“Um, we each have a different skill set that helped. Maggie can influence emotions, Nessie can block mental connection, and I can control metal.”  
*She can control metal?* Pietro looked at her with a newfound respect. 

“You never told me you can control metal.”

“It didn’t come up in the conversation. You know, the one where you were stealing my coffee and I was punching your face in and kicking you in the crotch.”  
Wanda laughed. “You did not tell me that she kicked you, brother.” She turned to Sage. “What is your name?” Pietro groaned. *No, no, no. Those two cannot get together.* He told them so, and they just laughed.

Wanda looked fully recovered, but Sage still shivered and looked too pale. The nightmare dust had outlined each of her veins, so that she looked even more ill. Wanda left, probably to go kiss her stupid robot boyfriend, and Pietro hesitated to follow her. 

“I never thanked you for saving my life.”

Sage laughed bitterly. “I don’t think you knew.” Pietro took a closer look at her. She had curled her legs up to her chest and had wrapped her arms around them protectively. She was still shivering. Pietro hesitantly placed a blanket on her bed, then left. 

. . . Lo’s POV . . . 

*Oh yeah. The nurses must be having a hell of a time,* Lo thought, as she ran into the infirmary. Dr. Helen Cho hadn’t arrived yet, which was good, seeing as Lo didn’t think she’d like to see her   
infirmary in this state.

Sage had gotten rapidly better, and was downstairs with the Avengers. Loki was currently trying to run away.

Clint ran in the room, aiming directly at Loki, and Natasha followed him a second later. Lo burst through the doors, ripping her staff out of her pack. She vaulted over a table, landing right next to the weak spell caster. He pivoted back to look at her.

“Greetings, Prince Loki, son to King Odin and Queen Frigga, brother to Prince Thor.” She smiled at him, curtsying in the proper manner her mother had drilled into her, back straight, knees bent, head ducked.

“Greetings, Lady Ivalo, daughter of Lord Od and Lady Freja, sister to Lord Adorjan, Lord Janvrin, Lady Sivva, Lady Sappae, and Lady Imogen. Where am I? And what has befallen me?” He looked confused, a scalpel falling from his hand.

“Midgard. You fell to the top of the Man of Iron’s Tower. We - my friends and the Avengers of Midgard - rescued you before the Chitauri followed your path through. You are in the healer’s infirmary of the Man of Iron’s Tower.” Loki looked at her strangely.

“Has an illness befallen you, Lady Ivalo? Where has your sharp tongue gone?” Loki asked her, looking genuinely worried. Her happy expression faded.

“You pus-bucket son of a fucking whore. I’m pissed. I can’t believe you’ve got enough fucking nerve to get mind-whammied enough to attack the *one* planet that I actually like. Unbe - *fucking* - lievable. And then, you little shithead, you get yourself captured by the Chitauri. What the fucking hell?”

Loki glared at her. “You have no idea what I have lived through, the atrocities I have been forced to commit, the torture I have been subjected to-”

“No, actually. I do. Because, about 500 years ago, the good people of Salem decided to hunt down all of the witches in the area and torture and burn them. And, about 90 years ago, a psychopath decided to torture and kill everyone who had a mental illness, or believed in a certain god, or had an attraction to people their gender. So I’ve been through what you’ve been through times two, asshole. You don’t get to pull the ‘oh, poor me’ card.” She felt no remorse for yelling at Loki, even after he went white in the face.

“Odin told all of Asgard’s citizens that you were being treated well.”

“Keep up, asshole. I thought we’d already established that Odin is a lying shitbag. Do you need *more* evidence?” Loki sat down heavily on his hospital bed. Lo stomped over, ignoring Clint’s refusal to aim anywhere except Loki, and started checking his vitals. She finished with a sigh, turning to Clint.

“Clint, put the bow down.”

“No.” Clint didn’t move. Lo sighed, grabbing her staff. She began lazily twirling it, and then sped it up as Clint aimed at her.

“Put. The. Fucking. Bow. Down.” Clint glared at her from behind the bow.

“He tore his way into my mind, violated all my thoughts, forced me to kill some of my friends, killed my mentor, and then tried to take over Earth. 80 people died. I can’t believe you’re letting him go free.”

“Well, guess what, asshole. I didn’t. I think heavy amounts of torture should be enough punishment for a crime he didn’t have a choice to commit. So put the bow down.” Clint stared at her for a few seconds, then dropped the bow. She smiled at him.

Lia ran in. “Oh my god. What’s going on?” She looked around the room. “What now, Harlequin?” 

“Well, someone’s *cough, cough* Loki *cough, cough* has got the flair for drama.” Lo smiled at her, trying to look innocent.

“That is coming from a girl who arrived late to her own wedding.” Loki added. Natasha looked at her.

“You’re married? How old are you in Midgardian years, like twenty?”

“Seventeen.” Lo turned towards Lia. “What is it now?”

“Tony wants us all to meet downstairs, in the living room.” Lo nodded, following Lia into the elevator. Behind them, she could see Natasha and Clint talking quietly.

The elevator doors closed, and Lia turned to Lo. “How old were you when you married?”

“3,394. That’s like . . . eleven?”

“Asgard is messed up.”

“Yup.”

The doors opened into the main living room, where the Avengers and the Misfits were currently arguing. Bucky Barnes sat in the middle of a loud argument that Steve and Tony were having. Lo rolled her eyes, flopping down next to Jase.

“We’re not keeping the sad assassin.” Tony stated.

“I’m not letting you turn him out onto the streets.” Steve yelled, his face turning a little red. Lo made eye contact with Sage from across the room. Sage rolled her eyes.

“He’s dangerous.” Tony pointed out. Sage rolled her eyes, and Nessie’s voice floated into Lo’s head. __

_“He’s lost.” Steve countered._

_“He’s unstable.”_

_“He was tortured.” Lia flinched._

_“He’s terrifying.”_

_“He’s confused.”_

_“He probably stinks.”_

_“It’s kinda hard to shower on the run.” Steve argued, curling and uncurling his hands. Lo nodded at his statement._

_“He’s probably got it out for me.”_

_“Well, you’re being rude.” Sage had started mimicking the words, mouthing well, you’re being rude, with her face scrunched up._

_“He’s a *scary, angry, assassin.*”_

_“He’s a *precious cinnamon roll-*”_

_“I’m *right here!*” Bucky jumped up, glaring at the two of them. Lo cracked up, applauding them. The three turned their scary looks to her. Bruce entered the room, Nakia clinging on to his leg, and took one look at the situation._

_“Um, nevermind. I’ll be right back-” He started awkwardly shuffling around._

_“Bruce Banner!” Lo jumped up. “The Remus Lupin of the Avengers!”_

_“Uh, thanks?”_

_“And my little sissy!” Lo picked Nakia up, twirling her around in the air, and put her back down. Nakia squealed, throwing up her arms.  
Lo obliged, throwing her up again. Lo did it one last time before setting her down. Nakia pouted, attaching herself to Bruce’s leg._

_“Okay. Here’s the scenario: we’ve got a former Soviet assassin staying with us-" Nessie started. Tony cut her off._

_“- I did *not* agree to -”_

_Nessie raised her voice. “We’ve also got a formerly mind controlled god, a girl who refuses to slow down even though she had a knife in her chest a few days ago, and-”_

_There was a huge crash, and the Tower shook. Nessie face palmed. “Oh no. I’ll be right back. Sage, I need you! Jase, you’re in charge.” Sage and Nessie ran out of the room. Jase stood up, grinning._

_“I’m in charge! Swear words are now illegal!” He climbed up onto the couch, his arms spread wide._

_“Heck.” Lo said immediately._

_“Oh, you’re on thin fucking ice.” Jase responded. His eyes widened. “Oh, wait. Shit.” Lo started laughing so hard that Jase flipped her off._

_Pietro stormed into the room, his entire head covered in foam. Wanda started laughing. “Shut up.” Pietro snapped at her, standing in the middle of the room._

_“This is the best thing that has happened since-”_

_“Shut up. I want to know exactly who did this, and how I get it out of my hair.” Lo started laughing again. Lia smiled weakly, her face looking a little too pale. Wanda walked over, and tried to pull some of the foam out. It covered her hands and instantly popped back into place. Thor entered the room next._

_“Brother Pietro, it seems you have-”_

_“I know.” Pietro snapped. He glared at Thor, his afro of foam covering one of his eyes. “And I would like to know who put this shit,” he tried to scrape the foam, “in my soap.” Lo and Jase started giggling again. Lo knew exactly who had put the foam in the soap._

_Sage walked into the room and got a good look at Pietro and Wanda covering each other in foam, Thor sulking in the corner, Lia looking like she was about to pass out, and Lorcan fussing over Lia. She started giggling as well._

_Pietro scowled at her. She threw him a small bottle of blue liquid, which he caught, opening it. His foam afro disappeared the second he drizzled it on top of his head._

_“Sorry about that. I forgot I did that.” Judging by her smirking expression, she hadn’t forgot. “Tony, You tried to attack Dummy. They were bickering about the fire extinguisher, and Dummy hit You, which just escalated. The crash a few minutes ago was because You pushed Dummy into the elevator and Dummy broke the elevator. You need to control your children.”_

_“Cough, cough, Ultron, cough, cough.” Jase added. Sage shot him a dark look, and he ducked his head. Vanessa ran back into the room._

_“What was I saying? Right, Hydra bases. There are six main bases that we need to eliminate in order to let the rest of Hydra die out.” She drew three large circles on the whiteboard behind them. “Brown Alpha, Orange Alpha, Red Alpha, Brown Beta, Orange Beta, and Red Beta.”_

_“There is no way there are six bases.” Steve interrupted. Vanessa held her hand up._

_“These are the commanding bases. They’re limited to one in a country. They each command dozens, or hundreds of smaller bases. Like an actual Hydra, you can destroy one of the heads, or bases, and because of the head of commands, another one will regrow.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“Brown Alpha and Brown Beta are both in control of weapons manufacturing. Orange Alpha and Beta are in charge of mutant training, and Red Alpha and Beta are the locations of the main headquarters and where most Red Rooms are set up.” Lo noticed that Lia went even paler at the mention of Red Rooms, and Natasha’s hand tapped her leg._

_“What are Red Rooms?” Tony asked. Natasha and Lia looked at each other uneasily. Lia spoke first._

_“They are training areas for Black Widows. I didn’t go through the normal training, so I’m not a Black Widow, but I went through basically the same thing. Just . . . harder.” Lo wanted to hug her little sister as Lia started chewing on her sleeve. Lorcan slung an arm around her shoulder._

_“What kind of training?” Tony’s voice got a lot softer, and he leaned towards the twitchy teen._

_“We were taught to shoot, to kill, to seduce. For some girls, the government put them in their Red Room. For others, their parents wanted them to be a Black Widow.”_

_“So, like a snobby boarding school for girls who want to be superheros.” Lo flinched at Tony’s response. Dude, Lia’s going to rip you apart with her words._

_“I was put in a room full of five year olds and had to kill them all. I was dropped in the middle of the tundra with a group of my friends and only enough rations for one girl. I had to kill my best friend for our ninth birthday. I was handcuffed to my bed every night so I wouldn’t kill the other girls.”_

_“No, the handcuffs were to keep us from running away.” Natasha spoke up._

_“Not for me.”_

_“I had an experience with the Red Room training program.” Vanessa piped up. “I was supposed to pick a Scorpion out of a line of Scorpions. I picked Lia, and the rest were killed.”  
There was a long lasting silence, in which Tony stared at the floor, and the rest of the group stared at Natasha and Lia. Vanessa eventually broke the silence._

_“We have a choice. We can attack Alpha Brown or Alpha Red first. If we attack Brown, Hydra will be severely crippled in the sense that they will have a limited access to weapons, but if we attack Red, there is a much higher probability that there will be no innocent casualties.”_

_“Red.” Natasha and Clint said at the same time._

_“Alpha Red.” Bucky was the third person._

_“Red.” Bruce was insistent, his eyes fading back into their normal green._

_“Red.” Steve followed Bucky._

_“What the hell. Red.” Tony said._

_“How are we going to eliminate both bases at the same time?” Lia asked. Thor looked up._

_“Can we not simply attack one and then attack the other?”_

_“If one of the Red bases gets wind that we’re coming, they’ll start killing the girls. We really don’t want that.” Lo glared at him. Thor’s eyes widened._

_“I’ve got a plan.” Vanessa hopped up on a chair. “There’s a small hotel near Beta Red. Beta Red is tiny in comparison to the other bases, so it’ll only take one or two really good people to take it down. We’re going to need two or three people to act as a family to get into that hotel. Then, they’ll travel to the base and burn it down after rescuing the girls.”_

_“Sounds good. I volunteer.” Clint piped up. “And Nat can be my partner. We’ve done this hundreds of times.”_

_“Can I come along?” Lia asked. Natasha hesitantly nodded._

**Author's Note:**

> Not only is this my first fic, it is also unbated, and my first written work since I was 6. Needless to say, please be gentle in the comments.


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